I remember having had problems from a very young age due to the excess amount of estrogen my body produced. My periods were erratic and painful, my moods and anxiety too much for a young body to handle. I hated everything about what this hormone stood for. It made me sick with many ailments from asthma, to hives, not to mention crippling heart palpitations and bone pain. I was a mess.
The latest supplementation I have been on DHEA and fenugreek have not agreed with me, I find to have had massive anxiety and with lots of heart flutters and an increased pulse and blood pressure. I have had to stop urine therapy since it is not recommended when taking any supplementation that alters your hormones. I find that these supplements increase my adrenal production of estradiol which my body does not like. I am going to stop and wait till my Suma root arrives and see how that goes.
Anxiety is no fun especially when it makes you sick and makes your heart feel like it will bust out of your chest. I believe the fenugreek is the culprit, once my body settles I may go back on DHEA but only take it 2 to 3 times a week. We are one giant chemistry set, and learning what works for us is important.
On another note it snowed here in Silver City and its been very cold not a great thing for an Islander, I like the change in season but prefer the warmth. Thankfully we have a great heating system and it’s all-inclusive in our rent.
On a happier note, Lynna and I had an amazing weekend went shopping for some kitchen toys to grind our own coffee beans and flaxseeds and purchased a French press coffee maker to make some awesome organic coffee.
We ordered a water purification system and continue on our health quest. Years of polluting our bodies with toxins both mental and physical require lots of purifying.
I know I will find the right mix for our bodies to lead a healthy life and to grow old gracefully.
Many of us in the LGBT spectrum suffer from anxiety. Has anyone ever really asked why? The sense of restlessness, heart pounding, and feelings of uneasiness is an all to common feeling that has plagued me all my life. Usually, I can control it and has become a none issue, especially ever since I had my hysterectomy and no longer had hormonal imbalances.
These past few days I have experienced a lot of anxiety triggered by my PTSD from the past 3 years. Sometimes I return to lower levels of thinking, due to losing sight of all that I have learned and my evolution process.
Anxiety brings on chest pains, inability to function, and paralysis me to no end. If it weren’t for my regimen that at times may seem to regiment to others, without it I would be in trouble and lost.
Eating right, working out, and having a set schedule is important for my mental health. Chaos plays chaos on the nervous system that is set for order.
Humans are being pressed for dysfunction with this modern stressed out technological life that creates a slew of issues for us. We are not meant to live in constant stress, therefore anxiety is a byproduct of our lifestyle and choices.
If I allow my environment to dictate my life, and if I don’t find a sense of balance or the ability to soothe myself then an anxiety attack will kick in. I find that dancing, working out, eating a plant based diet, peace in my surroundings helps keep me in check.
I grew up in a hostile environment and have learned to stay away from them, hence why I turn within and shut people and situations out. We all have to find what works for us and be constant.
Anxiety kills and we all need to find a way to calm the beast within. Learning what triggers you, finding effective ways to cope and integrate. Hormonal imbalances create anxiety, use food and herbs to balance them not drugs or alcohol.
We can’t watch television without being subjected to a slew of antidepressant medications, one of the many prescription drugs being advertised by big pharma today. Do you think it is a coincidence that most everyone you know is either depressed, anxious or suicidal, and by the way, suicidal seems to be one of the side effects from most of the latest big pharma concoction?
Let’s break down what depression actually is and how it affects us. Our brain is a network of neurons, brain cells, and dendrites which are a short branched extension of a nerve cell, along which impulses received from other cells at synapses (gaps) which are transmitted to the cell body to create brain function. This highway or railroads that connect throughout this big mass of matter requires an optimal environment for healthy function. If we are not providing the ultimate nutritional source and healthy environment, we can’t expect our brain to work ultimately, instead it will malfunction and an imbalance will set forth depressive, anxious and abnormal behavior.
Very little is still know about brain function, the science is still in its infancy, however, since the brain is connected to our bodies and our bodies are affected by our environment in many ways, we must conclude that when things are not in balance in our intake, lived experience and chemical interaction, we will see an array of problems showing itself in what psychiatry loves to label as mental illness. In my opinion, when someone has a mental illness, they are just out of balance, therefore, disease sets in.
Without going into a prescribed treatment plan, I will tell you this, that a healthy mind is accomplished first by admitting you have a problem, becoming aware of your out of balance behavior, then by analyzing your life and your intakes. No two people are alike, so this is a personal treatment plan that you have to prescribe and assess. You will need to observe your life as a spectator and find out what is not in alignment, what does not feel good, what is making you ill, what thoughts causes you pain, anxiety, and feelings of helplessness. If you know that there is no true solution for your feelings of helplessness and your wishes or wants are not attainable or normal, then you must reassess and tap into reality, for you will become further entrapped in the abyss and your depression will worsen, as seen with many in the trans community whom even after full transition, continue to experience feelings of helplessness, depression and even have suicidal ideation. Synthetic hormones will increase depression once your honeymoon stage high is over, the pendulum will swing viciously to the other side.
Depression is not that complicated really, and in my opinion, can be solved by natural means. If you are on medication, can you actually say that your depression has improved and are you free from side effects from this said medication, you need to assess your situation and research all the natural types of treatments out there.
Here is our Thursday Show, towards the end of our podcast we talk about some solutions to depression.
One of the few things we as humans have is our word, living in truth and being kind, everything else revolves around ego and destruction. People are being born into a world filled with lies, self-centeredness, and corruption. How did we go from one extreme to the other I ask? Well, I have a few theories on this, and let me tell you it is not pretty.
The world of technology, materialism and look at me mentality, has created this crazy breed we call the human race. We have managed to destroy what our ancestors built in a very short amount of time. You think we are all so advanced and have made such great strides, but on the contrary, we are devolving and quickly I may add. Religion serves to create fear, divide, and raise funds for the heads of the organizations of the oh so profitable churches, frankly, God has not received any of the profits, nor is she/he interested in our man made so called progress and corruptions.
Politics is as corrupt as the times of Cesar and Constantine and our leaders are getting more and more bizarre as time passes by. The medical system which at one point made house calls and had fewer than a few prescription drugs at hand is now one big Pharma fest, and let's not forget snip, tuck and kill. Yes, we have industries now that instead of forging forward for our betterment, are creating more and more problems for our human race, and we are letting them destroy us and our planet.
I want to go back to the year 2003 when I learned of this new Cult called Transsexuals. I had identified as a lesbian woman since I was 13 years of age but in the summer of 2003, I learned that I could become a "man" and no longer be considered what I had been taught to feel shame about anymore. I could change my life and become a "man", according to the so called professionals and what we now see as an epidemic at a rise.
There were no true objective testing or findings being administered, but I had learned what others said online when they went to these so called gender specialists, and I surely looked the part since I had been bodybuilding and dabbled in body enhancement chemicals, so I knew I would pass with flying colors and would be given the letter that would change my life. I was on my continual road of destruction, nothing had changed except, I now obsessed with my body and would stop at nothing to get the look I so desperately wanted. Having been overweight most of my life, hated what I looked like and of course my breast from being molested as a child, the whole narrative of Gender Dysphoria surely had my name written all over it. I see now how criminal this whole concept of being born wrong is, and frankly, there are no objective findings or true clinical studies that can back this up, we are just a bunch of narcissistically obsessed, self-loathing, traumatized souls who are not being given the proper help we really need.
We have been given the license to destroy ourselves and others without any second thoughts about it. The Trans agenda has run with this ball and has created their narratives as they see fit, and are pushing their agenda on everyone without thinking about the ramifications of their choices. These are people who dislike their lives and are bored, want more out of life and have sexualized their fantasies beyond measure and are changing the world as we know it, and not for the better. The fantasy of being someone else, of creating a character that becomes the center of their life and universe while seeking attention and validation from others, as well as taking lots of prisoners along the way and not taking no for an answer, is ladies and gentleman transgenderism in a nutshell. Don't be fooled with the victim mentality, we are good at seeking sympathy from others and making up all sorts of scenarios to get our way, it's our defense mechanism, our way of dealing with the hurt, our damaged neurological system, and our poor self-esteems.
To this day, I still don't understand what would possess a person to do what we do, ranging from self-harm to alienating everything and everyone around us, and for those who get lucky and manage to keep friends and family, you were good at manipulating those you love, using a rather intelligible technique or threats of suicides to gain your validation. Realize I feel bad for everyone involved, to include the parasite that has taken over the host, who at some point was an organism who was lonely and looking to inhabit a bigger world.
I can only hope that people will wake up from this nightmare, and realize what they have allowed to take place, I hope that no more gender clinics open up and that more are shut down, after the countless law-suits rain in. I also hope that transitioners get a grip on reality, and realizing that there is more to life than gender and that the loss out weight the gains. I hope that more people step up, to tell the truth, and that they stop using children as their shield. I hope that people start seeing the truth behind this transgender phenomenon for what it really is. The two distinct types and motivation, that the research has clearly shown, and although many trans women have fought long and hard to hide the truth, the research and science prove otherwise. So our two groups are homosexual males who are so feminine that they are unable to live successfully as men and do better as women; and, on the other hand, heterosexual males who are erotically stimulated by the idea of themselves as women. Blanchard called the first group HomoSexual TransSexual or HSTS and the second Autogynephilic Transsexual or AGP.
The distinction between these two groups has never been scientifically challenged; indeed, recent papers by Rametti et al, Savic and Arver and Guillamonstrongly support it. There are two groups and Blanchard correctly identified them. Most Transgender born male in the West are Autogynephilic. There are a number of reasons for this, all cultural. Residual homophobia is the main one, especially that of the ‘gay’ male community. This ruthlessly policies ‘gay’ men and condemns any expression of femininity. according to Charis O. Fleming. Here is an interesting video, among many where he discusses in detail this phenomenon.
You will never get most trans individuals to come clean or admit to being an autogynephilic, due to the stigma and their religious upbringing, but when closely studied and analyzed the signs are all there as it the research. Frankly, I would like to see people work through their pain, instead of creating these victim scenarios and pushing their sexualization on everyone else. I believe that the truth will set us free, and will help us heal and create a better tomorrow. If we continue the lies, the deceit and the continual medicalization of this condition, we will be destroying many lives. We need to put a stop to this while we still can. We need to properly handle this condition that I believe is based on childhood traumas and parasitic infestations. And although this may sound sci-fi to most, I can't think of anything else that can lead a human being to do what they do to themselves and others. Toxoplasma gondii might be the most famous brain-controlling parasite of all. It's a single-celled organism that can infect almost any warm-blooded animal, to include Humans. But where it gets unsettling is the possibility that the parasite, which is hugely common in humans, affects our behavior too. "There are lots of studies finding correlations between [human] infection and behavior," says Weinersmith. "There was also a study that found a correlation between country-wide neuroticism scores and the percentage of the population infected by Toxo, suggesting that the parasite influences culture." There is at least one other ironclad example of a parasite which controls human behavior: rabies. Humans and other mammals infected by the rabies virus develop hydrophobia – a fear of water – and aggressive behavior, including biting. Since the virus is spread by saliva, that makes sense: Biting for obvious reasons, while water could wash infected saliva away and make the bites less infectious, so a fear of water is good for the virus. Clearly, humans are not beyond the reach of behavior-controlling parasites.
I would like to see better research and interpretation of this condition, I would like to see real professionals deal with this transgenderism, instead of the one size fits all approach that has been created to push drugs and surgery to the already hurt and desperate population that are being led on the wrong path.
I remember when I was a small child, everything revolved around gender and stereotypes. I don't know if anyone else has these memories, but my mother made sure I knew I was a girl and focused on providing me with girl things. I was constantly told how wrong I was whenever I engaged in boy play, boy actions and or fought against girl things. I don't know why I did not gravitate towards girly things, but it was the core of my upbringing, the battle between mom and I lasted a life time and to this day, it still does.
Even after I have detransitioned, my mom is not seeing the results that she would like to see fast enough. I can see the disapproval in her face and demeanor. I know she means well, and I am sure she meant well through out my life, but I believe her push for me to be the girl she gave birth to, actually led to wanting to be more masculine and fight my feminine essence. I find myself now being drawn to more feminine things and can't wait to be seen as a woman, have my long hair back, be able to wear more feminine attire and over all live the remaining years as a woman.
I think society is at fault for all the confusion and judgment we all face due to our quirkiness. We should all be able to express, experiment and execute our self as we see fit without judgment or ridicule, including from our own parents. Add religious dogma to the mix, that plays on people emotions and fears when they do not fit the perfect little gender boxes, is enough to drive people to the opposite direction. If society was less stressed on peoples expression and accepted everyone for who they were, we would not see all the problems we are seeing today.
I do see improvements, but we have a long way to go. People and their neurosis with what gender is or what sex is suppose to be are only creating internal battles in others which in turn affects everyone on this planet. I say take a chill pill and let people be already. Who cares if a trans person was born the opposite sex they identify as, is it any of your business? Your uterus won't fall off if a trans woman says she is a woman, don't worry they are not asking you for your ovaries to make them complete. No one is trying to take away your womanhood, there are no quotas on earth for the amount of woman allowed, so breath easy you are safe. There is enough room on this planet for trans women and women alike.
Stop playing the biology card, and start realizing there is more to life the sperm and ovum. Oh and for those who claim that I am standing by my "man", if you even knew me, you would know how much of a ball buster and strong headed individual I am. I have come to this completed 180 due to my own detransition, it has allowed me to feel compassion and have a full on understanding of a feeling of being a woman. You may not understand since you have never had to go through this whole cluster fuck of feelings and emotions, but I can tell you this, your nay saying and constant friction helps no one. You don't even know it but you are hurting women as well. There are many women who are born with lots of androgen, they too will be a victim of harassment in their own toilets. So please give it a break and get out of the darkness. Its 2016 we humans are evolving, you don't want to be seen or left to be a dinosaur.
Life is too precious and our path very difficult to be a thorn in someone else's path. I love you but remember to love yourselves too
Ritz
PLEASE NOTE I WILL NOT BE WRITING MY BLOG HERE ANY LONGER, I WILL BE ON MY OTHER WORDPRESS BLOGhttps://maritzacummings.wordpress.com
In reality when people fight against a particular cause or person, they are actually fighting the demons they deal with, within themselves on a daily basis. My transition was all about hating parts of me that was made to feel undesirable and unwanted. The upbringing and stereotypical format we as women are use to contend with, leads us to become that which we hate, and run away from that which we are. I see all these movements waving a hate flag, making everyone the enemy and in reality doing much of nothing but endless void voices without action or real cause.
I fought my femininity for the longest time and only wanting to feel my masculine parts that constitutes a part of me. I feel so much need now to embrace the sacred feminine in me. I want my long hair, my soft hairless skin, a body that moves swiftly and gingerly through this world. I want more than anything to feel that gentle nature that I fought hard to get rid off, because I didn't want to be hurt by others in the end. That fear only leads to hurt, not only self but others. We really do not need to battle, battles are destructive and in the end hurts not only your oppressors but yourself as well.
Take time to reflect, to feel the pain, own it, understand it, then push it away. Forgive and forget, because just the mere memory is damaging. How many women live in fear of rape because they were once raped or molested, if you hold on to that, the damage will follow you for the rest of your life? Trust me freeing yourself from that is so powerful and healing. If you hold on to it, it will continue to harm you and others around you, you will not allow true love in your heart and will bring more of the same pain into your life.
Take the time to heal, be present and notice your every thought. Are you constantly angry? Are you always thinking someone is going to hurt you or that you are entitled? Let go of those thoughts free yourself from that prison. There is no one out to get you, the world is your oyster and everyone in life there to love and help you. Create this reality and watch your world change.
Woman are not a commodity for a political movement, women are part of humanity which has another component. We need each other to make this world go round and to make life happen. Men are just as important for the survival our species and are just as much of a victim as we are. Remember you can't wash one hand without another.
Ever since Lynna and I have decided to no longer be anti trans and actually bring a positive light while maintaining a healthy education platform, we have then felt the wrath from the Radical Feminism cult. I have been told that Rad Fems are not about hate, separation and war against men, so please help me understand these quotes:
"All sex, even consensual sex between a married couple, is an act of violence perpetrated against a woman."
-- Catharine MacKinnon, Marxist, professor of law at the University of Michigan
"All men are rapists and that's all they are"
-- Marilyn French,The Women's Room (Percent of reported rape or near-rape incidents = .07% [FBI Uniform Crime Report list for 1996])
"Marriage as an institution developed from rape as a practice."
-- Andrea Dworkin, feminist author, lesbian activist, former prostitute
"Heterosexual intercourse is the pure, formalized expression of contempt for women's bodies."
-- Andrea Dworkin
"Under patriarchy, every woman's son is her potential betrayer and also the inevitable rapist or exploiter of another woman,"
-- Andrea Dworkin, Liberty, p.58
"Sex and murder are fused in the male consciousness, so that the one without the imminent possibility of the other is unthinkable and impossible."
-- Andrea Dworkin, Letters from a War Zone
"When a woman reaches orgasm with a man she is only collaborating with the patriarchal system, eroticizing her own oppression..."
-- Sheila Jeffreys, lesbian activist, professor of political science at the University of Melbourne, Australia
"It is not only men convicted of rape who believe that the only thing they did that was different from what men do all the time is get caught."
-- Catharine A. MacKinnon, Toward a Feminist Theory of the State, 1989, First Harvard University Press (a legal treatise comparing feminism with socialism and communism)
I personally am appalled by these words, and frankly ashamed. Thankfully I know that my being a woman is not tied to feminism in any way, in fact I want nothing to do with it. I love men, I love women, I love trans individuals, gays and lesbians. I believe that ideology is destructive in all of its forms and needs to be eradicated like the cancer that it is. Men and women both have faults and virtues, no sex is better or more worthy than the other. They both need to learn to co exist and deal with age long hurt that has been passed from generation to generation. So please help me explain what does all this fighting solve?
I want to appeal to your human nature, those of you who are anti trans, who feel that biology is all that matters, think about this for one moment: genitals in a fetus is undifferentiated, meaning we have the possibility of being either or depending on the hormonal bathing.
There are various combinations and events that can go wrong during development, also let us not forget the spirit and personality of this child and person, that is more than just a penis or a vagina, a womb or sac. People are more than their chromosomes and DNA, they are humans with feelings, needs and intrinsic behaviors and personalities.
Why should we deny them their reality and happiness? Why must you build your political campaign around someone else's life and needs. Rise up from your judgment and personal opinion and try to be tolerant and accept that not everything in life is black or white, there are many shades of grey.
I am a true believer that diseases stem from inner turmoil created by our outer realities. Some people are as strict about their beliefs as a stiff rod, they in no way know how to sway like a palm tree. But like a palm tree that survives the brutal storm, the stiff rod will get pulled out of its roots and will loose their center and life source.
Humans have been taught to follow dogma, read books and cling on to theories that in reality do not hold much water, books are written by humans, who we know can't be trusted with factual information, especially when an exchange of goods is the bottom line. We must live life with an open heart, realizing that the only constant in life is change, and change is the only constant. We can believe one thing one minute and another the next. No harm no foul, it's human nature.
It's easy to grasp on to a cause that fits our hurt and lives situation, we see it all the time. Young men and women joining the military to fight for their country, and what are they really fighting for. Religious extremist, preaching the gospel and letting everyone know that the end is here, an end that seems to never get there, only in the minds of those that behave like the stiff rod. Women's and Men's activism is no different, they cling to beliefs, create scenarios to wage war and in the end, the cycle continues without an end or resolution in sight. Driven by dogma, individuals who have suffered and feel hurt, in turn this hurt makes them want to hurt others, sometime without realizing what they are doing. I am not trying to point fingers here or pit one group against another, although I have been accused of this, I just want people to realize that this endless cycle of hate needs to stop. Please let it go, come from a place of love, compassion, forgiveness and unity. We are all suffering here, every human has to deal with diseases, financial problems, growing old, a deteriorating planet and over all the battles we create in our heads.
Women are important yes, I get that. I am a woman too. But having lived in both genders has given me an insight that allows me to tear down all the wall we create and have compassion for both genders. I can see that all we want is to feel safe, loved and seen. But in order for us to have all of that, we need to fortify this to ourselves and others. It takes work to heal, but you can't expect to heal if you are harboring ill feelings towards others. Just my two cents and humble opinion, you can fight me all you want and feel betrayed, but I am not betraying you, on the contrary, I am trying to bring a different outlook to the cause.
Forgiveness is an amazing tool, love you all but remember to love yourself too.
We use the world love often and unconsciously, throw it around without any true concept of what Love truly is. We are taught from a very young age that we are loved if we do what we are told, even our own parents who brought us into this world fail to provide us the gift of unconditional love and that to me is a source of sadness beyond belief. This lack of unconditional love from our safe haven, creates the spiral of our life long relationship problems, including the relationship we have with ourself.
We come into this world to build not only our bank accounts and ego, but to build our spiritual connection with our higher self and our fellow spirits. Every interaction we have here on earth is not a coincidence, but a carefully planned contract that allows us to work through the many challenges and working that are fortified to us here on planet earth.
When we judge others, we are merely reflecting on something inside of us we don't like. Our relationships are there to help us see inside of self, sort of a mirror image. If you look at your past relationships and notice that we continue to be faced with similar situations it is no coincidence that these relationships are a guide for our growth, till you work things out, you will continue to be presented with the same situations time and time again. I believe in twin flame connections, and I believe that many of us are fortunate enough to be provided the gift of finding our twin. I am thankful to have found mine and ever since, my evolution and growth has sky rocketed in incredible ways, this is how you know you are with your twin, when you are faced with growth and challenges beyond your imagination.
Keep working on yourself and rid self of judgement and your life will change, you may even get to encounter your true other half. Life is exciting and can be an incredible teacher. Surrender to its lessons and navigate with an open heart and the world will be a kinder place. I have made many mistakes in my life time, but what I have learn from these mistakes is priceless, I would not change a single thing, even my transition, because my transition allowed me to meet my twin and now I am the happiest person alive, navigating the smooth seas with the sun shinning on my face and the world is my canvas, I will paint the images and pictures I wish to see, creating an ever flow of love, abundance, health and peace. I wish you all an amazing journey of learning and gratitude, give unconditional to yourself and others and that love will be fortified in return. Happy loving.....
So I learn to understand that not everyone in the trans community actually feels or encounters Dysphoria the same way or with the actual intensity that some do. I for one had very little dysphoria, and what I presumed was Dysphoria of my breast was actually caused by the boundaries I created from being sexually molested as a young child. I felt my breast was the center of my dysphoric feelings and what I felt when they were touched was a dirty, feeling, therefore, I did not want them touched, I grew to hate them. I now have worked through that, a bit late I know, lol, but I often imagine how it would feel like if I had breast again. I would welcome them and not have the old relationship I had with them before.
I look in the mirror now and I have so much work to do, the excess body hair and battle to rid of it, my face, the hardness, the facial hair battle and of coarse my male pattern baldness, all create a different type of dysphoria. I believe what I am experiencing now is what most trans folks experience but in reversal. This has now allowed me to have so much more compassion and understanding for my trans family, yes they are still my family, I grew to love, yet hate at the same time, just like an average dysfunctional families dynamics unfolds when dealing with issues they don't want to face. We do most of our spiritual growth through our love ones, we face our biggest challenges through our interactions with them. So I want to thank the community for helping me grow and heal. We may not always agree but we can come to terms and learn to accept each others differences and respect our stance.
I find I have more dysphoria now than before, and having a much harder time dealing with things or should I say finding patients. When I transitioned from female to male, the changes were quickly and strong. Now that I have all the male characteristics after 13 year of Testosterone and androgen use as a female body builder, the hardness of my face, voice and male characteristics are not as easy to reverse if at all. So believe me when I say, Trans sisters I feel your pain.
I was cruel to not be understanding, but trust me when I say, I will try to do what I can to help the world understand your plight. I also want to help the adjacent communities find compassion in their hearts for the trans community, it is not a good place to be in harboring hate and resentment. Trans women are a different kind of women, some see themselves as much of a woman as we are. I want to help them feel at peace and at ease, I believe that if we unite and learn to understand one another, we can do great things as humans, and learn that we are more alike than we are different. Waving a flag to make a political statement creates blood shed, lasting hurt that not only hurts the target, but hurts the one pulling the trigger of that hate gun. Remember being right is not always the solution, feeling peace and love is the way to freeing your soul.
Let us make 2016 the year of acceptance, a year that we can be proud of. We are women and I know we have been hurt through out history, but we can change that but not through politics or war, but instead through compassion and understanding. Remember many of you are mothers and will bring to this earth a child that one day may question his or her gender identity. Let us create a safe playground for our gender expression and well being.
It has been 2 months since I have been off Testosterone and I feel great. I am currently not on any hormones and allowing my body to do her own thing. I am confident that she will do right by me and I will be the picture of health and balance. I am happy emotionally, feeling good physically and today we have started another water fast. I believe fasting will expedite the healing process as will eating natural organic foods.
I wanted to discuss the changes I have seen thus far. First of all, my mind feels so much sharper as does my speech. I have always had a bit of a loss for words since transitioning, the research shows the a loss of grey matter takes place which affects our communication and now since being free of T for 2 months I feel more fluid and coherent. My facial and body hear are still coming in coarse and steady, not happy about that, and hoping that it will change with the passing months. I will be scheduling Laser when I move to Florida in a couple of months.
My hair progress is coming along just fine and I have learn some really cool procedures that I will be using to help it along. I was informed about a derma roller that is not only good for the skin but to stimulate hair follicles, here is a link Derma roller.
Here is a comparison shot on the Left was the initial shot on Nov 15th on the right is on Jan 10th 2016.
I am excited to see the many changes I will experience, already I see my face is softening up and that is with out estrogen of any kind since I don't have ovaries and I am not supplementing as of yet. I will play it by ear and see how it goes. If I take anything it will be natural, non synthetic.
As we lay in bed fasting and writing my blog, I can't help but wonder what is in store for the future. The challenges I still face with documentation changes, and learning to navigate my environment again after living life as a male identified person. I am optimistic and happy with lots of new found peace that radiates in every word I say and every thought I think. I am blessed to have a wonderful supporting spouse by my side who loves me for me, and that is whats important. My detransitioning has allowed me to have more compassion for the trans community and to be more empathetic with others. I know that many are not in accordance with the trans community for whatever reasons, but I have learned that everyone is entitled to live their lives. I do want to place emphasis on the importance to know if transitioning is right for you and not just to jump on the bandwagon because you think its the cooler thing to do. Do lots of soul searching, you don't want to do what I did and find out 13 years later that is was the wrong path. Note it was the wrong path for me, I am not saying it is the wrong path for everyone. I can only share my story and speak about me, and me alone.
Any way guys hope you are having a relaxing Sunday, I know Lynna and I are, chilling and fasting, reaching ultimate levels of healing and continuing to do much soul searching.
