Let's Get Real

One of the few things we as humans have is our word, living in truth and being kind, everything else revolves around ego and destruction. People are being born into a world filled with lies, self-centeredness, and corruption. How did we go from one extreme to the other I ask? Well, I have a few theories on this, and let me tell you it is not pretty.

The world of technology, materialism and look at me mentality, has created this crazy breed we call the human race. We have managed to destroy what our ancestors built in a very short amount of time. You think we are all so advanced and have made such great strides, but on the contrary, we are devolving and quickly I may add. Religion serves to create fear, divide, and raise funds for the heads of the organizations of the oh so profitable churches, frankly, God has not received any of the profits, nor is she/he interested in our man made so called progress and corruptions.

Politics is as corrupt as the times of Cesar and Constantine and our leaders are getting more and more bizarre as time passes by.  The medical system which at one point made house calls and had fewer than a few prescription drugs at hand is now one big Pharma fest, and let's not forget snip, tuck and kill. Yes, we have industries now that instead of forging forward for our betterment, are creating more and more problems for our human race, and we are letting them destroy us and our planet.
I want to go back to the year 2003 when I learned of this new Cult called Transsexuals. I had identified as a lesbian woman since I was 13 years of age but in the summer of 2003, I learned that I could become a "man" and no longer be considered what I had been taught to feel shame about anymore. I could change my life and become a "man", according to the so called professionals and what we now see as an epidemic at a rise.

There were no true objective testing or findings being administered,  but I had learned what others said online when they went to these so called gender specialists, and I surely looked the part since I had been bodybuilding and dabbled in body enhancement chemicals, so I knew I would pass with flying colors and would be given the letter that would change my life.  I was on my continual road of destruction, nothing had changed except, I now obsessed with my body and would stop at nothing to get the look I so desperately wanted. Having been overweight most of my life, hated what I looked like and of course my breast from being molested as a child, the whole narrative of Gender Dysphoria surely had my name written all over it.  I see now how criminal this whole concept of being born wrong is, and frankly, there are no objective findings or true clinical studies that can back this up, we are just a bunch of narcissistically obsessed, self-loathing, traumatized souls who are not being given the proper help we really need.

We have been given the license to destroy ourselves and others without any second thoughts about it. The Trans agenda has run with this ball and has created their narratives as they see fit, and are pushing their agenda on everyone without thinking about the ramifications of their choices. These are people who dislike their lives and are bored, want more out of life and have sexualized their fantasies beyond measure and are changing the world as we know it, and not for the better.  The fantasy of being someone else, of creating a character that becomes the center of their life and universe while seeking attention and validation from others, as well as taking lots of prisoners along the way and not taking no for an answer, is ladies and gentleman transgenderism in a nutshell. Don't be fooled with the victim mentality, we are good at seeking sympathy from others and making up all sorts of scenarios to get our way, it's our defense mechanism, our way of dealing with the hurt, our damaged neurological system, and our poor self-esteems.

To this day, I still don't understand what would possess a person to do what we do, ranging from self-harm to alienating everything and everyone around us, and for those who get lucky and manage to keep friends and family, you were good at manipulating those you love, using a rather intelligible technique or threats of suicides to gain your validation. Realize I feel bad for everyone involved, to include the parasite that has taken over the host, who at some point was an organism who was lonely and looking to inhabit a bigger world.


I can only hope that people will wake up from this nightmare, and realize what they have allowed to take place, I hope that no more gender clinics open up and that more are shut down, after the countless law-suits rain in. I also hope that transitioners get a grip on reality, and realizing that there is more to life than gender and that the loss out weight the gains. I hope that more people step up, to tell the truth, and that they stop using children as their shield. I hope that people start seeing the truth behind this transgender phenomenon for what it really is. The two distinct types and motivation, that the research has clearly shown, and although many trans women have fought long and hard to hide the truth, the research and science prove otherwise.  So our two groups are homosexual males who are so feminine that they are unable to live successfully as men and do better as women; and, on the other hand, heterosexual males who are erotically stimulated by the idea of themselves as women. Blanchard called the first group HomoSexual TransSexual or HSTS and the second Autogynephilic Transsexual or AGP.


The distinction between these two groups has never been scientifically challenged; indeed, recent papers by Rametti et al, Savic and Arver and Guillamonstrongly support it. There are two groups and Blanchard correctly identified them. Most Transgender born male in the West are Autogynephilic. There are a number of reasons for this, all cultural. Residual homophobia is the main one, especially that of the ‘gay’ male community. This ruthlessly policies ‘gay’ men and condemns any expression of femininity. according to Charis O. Fleming. Here is an interesting video, among many where he discusses in detail this phenomenon.







You will never get most trans individuals to come clean or admit to being an autogynephilic, due to the stigma and their religious upbringing, but when closely studied and analyzed the signs are all there as it the research. Frankly, I would like to see people work through their pain, instead of creating these victim scenarios and pushing their sexualization on everyone else. I believe that the truth will set us free, and will help us heal and create a better tomorrow. If we continue the lies, the deceit and the continual medicalization of this condition, we will be destroying many lives. We need to put a stop to this while we still can. We need to properly handle this condition that I believe is based on childhood traumas and parasitic infestations. And although this may sound sci-fi to most, I can't think of anything else that can lead a human being to do what they do to themselves and others.

Toxoplasma gondii might be the most famous brain-controlling parasite of all. It's a single-celled organism that can infect almost any warm-blooded animal, to include Humans. But where it gets unsettling is the possibility that the parasite, which is hugely common in humans, affects our behavior too. "There are lots of studies finding correlations between [human] infection and behavior," says Weinersmith. "There was also a study that found a correlation between country-wide neuroticism scores and the percentage of the population infected by Toxo, suggesting that the parasite influences culture." There is at least one other ironclad example of a parasite which controls human behavior: rabies. Humans and other mammals infected by the rabies virus develop hydrophobia – a fear of water – and aggressive behavior, including biting. Since the virus is spread by saliva, that makes sense: Biting for obvious reasons, while water could wash infected saliva away and make the bites less infectious, so a fear of water is good for the virus. Clearly, humans are not beyond the reach of behavior-controlling parasites.

I would like to see better research and interpretation of this condition, I would like to see real professionals deal with this transgenderism, instead of the one size fits all approach that has been created to push drugs and surgery to the already hurt and desperate population that are being led on the wrong path.

Till Next Time

I remember thinking, when I underwent certain procedures to affirm, at the time what I thought was my "true" identity, (I had a bilateral mastectomy and full hysterectomy at the Cleveland Clinic in South Florida) how happy I was, as they removed the bandages from my chest, and I saw for the very first time, the scars where my breasts use to be and the recreated "man" crusted nipples and hoping they would not fall off after the resizing and recreation of them. My brain was trying to understand what just happened, and I was unconsciously preventing from going into shock, the already set in program of you will be happy after this is done, was battling the reality of the situation.  I smiled and thought, "yeah, I am now a man" so I thought. Rethinking this and in a sane/healthy state of mind I am now in, I ask, who makes us believe that a removal of the healthy breasts and reproductive organs make us men?  When in reality there are millions of women who undergo these procedures, not because they want to, but because they have to due to cancer or other illnesses, shameful, I know. 

Looking back now, and knowing what I know today, these types of procedures should be outlawed and doctors jailed who perform them. Unless you have breast cancer and this is going to save your life, bilateral mastectomy for an individual who alleges to have gender dysphoria should not be allowed to undergo such procedures. These are healthy parts, nothing wrong with them, it is our mental state in question, it is the individual who has the problem of low self-esteem, wanting to be something they are not and thinking that this will solve their problems, this is beyond ludicrous and insane. No surgical alterations should be allowed for individuals with any type of body dysmorphia, mental conditions (GD is a mental condition, I don't care how the trans advocates managed to have it questioned and removed) working through the real issues is the answer. It makes as much sense as cutting up your stomach and intestines to lose weight, this is the society we are living in. Health care is nothing about health and all about filling up big pharma and the medical community's pockets with dollars. The "professionals" who are in charge of making these decisions need to have their heads examined.

There is lots of work to be done for those of us who are in the process of de-transitioning, and there is no help provided by these organizations that are pushing the trans agenda, a class action lawsuit is definitely in order. Healing, getting all of our documentation changed, learning to adapt to a scared body, living without any form of hormones, especially those of us who have had a radical hysterectomy and refuse to go on synthetic estradiol that is harmful and uncharted for ex-transgender individuals, is not easy. The world is so focused on the transitioning process that those of us who are returning home seem invisible.  

Well on a positive note, I went to a female bathroom for the very first time yesterday, I had been using the gender neutral ones, or just holding it till I got home, but I felt really good about myself yesterday, it has been a little over  3 weeks since my de-transitioning,  and I finally went and used the women's bathroom at Church. I can't tell you the feeling of joy I felt, returning to the bathroom I belong in the one that was created for individuals born with XX chromosomes, the ones with a real vagina, and that would be me. It was the most natural stress-free feeling ever, the other, always felt false and deceitful.  I am so glad to own who I am, my true identity, the identity God gave me, I am a woman and can't ever be anything else. Yesterday at church the Pastor (I love this man, he speaks from his heart) talked about how our gender is eternal and we are born with it and transcend with it wherever we go, so for those of you in the trans community who think you can change this how wrong you are, and how tormented you will be for eternity until you accept what God gave you.

Although when I look in the mirror, I am still not quite happy with what I see, the hopes is that laser will remove the unwanted hair on my face and body, that the hair on my head will start to grow in, and that my skin will return to the skin I had (I know I am older, and that there will be some alterations from the beautiful 37-year-old I use to be before I started using androgens, but I will be thankful to feel complete as the woman I was meant to be.

How I am feeling since de-transitioning:

My appetite has decreased, my strength is going down, I find myself losing weight, loss of muscle mass, headaches began this morning, guess my hormonal levels are changing, the body is trying to adapt. I am trying to do this without using estradiol but will take it one day at a time. 

Emotionally I feel great, went shopping at the dollar store yesterday after church, and bought some more makeup, nail polish, and womanly smelling lotion. I am embracing the feminine in me, something I use to hate before. I feel like God is recreating me, healing me, and it feels wonderful. 

I am sure there is lots of work to be done, 13 years is no easy to erased in 3 weeks, I am for certain though that gender dysphoria and the trans mantra needs to be stopped dead in its tracks. People need to work on the real issues and that is a lack of self-love and acceptance. There is absolutely nothing wrong with your gender or body parts, it is your mental and emotional state that needs to be looked at. You need God in your heart, God heals everything. You may not see the results from your prayers right away, it takes time, have patience, but realize that when you start to develop a relationship with God, the void you once felt will disappear, he has your back and he loves you beyond words.  I am saddened by the lack of love for God or even belief in our creator. How can anyone not believe, how do we justify all of his wonderful design? Just look around you, everything has his fingerprints on it. 

Till Next Time

Maritza Lopez

Discover The Inner You

I will post my new blog entries on Word Press here is the latest link of our latest conclusion on gender and gender changes https://maritzacummings.wordpress.com/2016/08/15/discover-the-inner-you/

In The Dark

I remember when I was a small child, everything revolved around gender and stereotypes. I don't know if anyone else has these memories, but my mother made sure I knew I was a girl and focused on providing me with girl things. I was constantly told how wrong I was whenever I engaged in boy play, boy actions and or fought against girl things. I don't know why I did not gravitate towards girly things, but it was the core of my upbringing, the battle between mom and I lasted a life time and to this day, it still does. 

Even after I have detransitioned, my mom is not seeing the results that she would like to see fast enough. I can see the disapproval in her face and demeanor. I know she means well, and I am sure she meant well through out my life, but I believe her push for me to be the girl she gave birth to, actually led to wanting to be more masculine and fight my feminine essence. I find myself now being drawn to more feminine things and can't wait to be seen as a woman, have my long hair back, be able to wear more feminine attire and over all live the remaining years as a woman. 

I think society is at fault for all the confusion and judgment we all face due to our quirkiness. We should all be able to express, experiment and execute our self as we see fit without judgment or ridicule, including from our own parents.  Add religious dogma  to the mix, that plays on people emotions and fears when they do not fit the perfect little gender boxes, is enough to drive people to the opposite direction. If society was less stressed on peoples expression and accepted everyone for who they were, we would not see all the problems we are seeing today. 

I do see improvements, but we have a long way to go. People and their neurosis with what gender is or what sex is suppose to be are only creating internal battles in others which in turn affects everyone on this planet. I say take a chill pill and let people be already. Who cares if a trans person was born the opposite sex they identify as, is it any of your business? Your uterus won't fall off if a trans woman says she is a woman, don't worry they are not asking you for your ovaries to make them complete. No one is trying to take away your womanhood, there are no quotas on earth for the amount of woman allowed, so breath easy you are safe. There is enough room on this planet for trans women and women alike.

Stop playing the biology card, and start realizing there is more to life the sperm and ovum. Oh and for those who claim that I am standing by my "man", if you even knew me, you would know how much of a ball buster and strong headed individual I am. I have come to this completed 180 due to my own detransition, it has allowed me to feel compassion and have a full on understanding of a feeling of being a woman. You may not understand since you have never had to go through this whole cluster fuck of feelings and emotions, but I can tell you this, your nay saying and constant friction helps no one. You don't even know it but you are hurting women as well. There are many women who are born with lots of androgen, they too will be a victim of harassment in their own toilets. So please give it a break and get out of the darkness. Its 2016 we humans are evolving, you don't want to be seen or left to be a dinosaur.  

Life is too precious and our path very difficult to be a thorn in someone else's path. I love you but remember to love yourselves too

Ritz

PLEASE NOTE I WILL NOT  BE WRITING MY BLOG HERE ANY LONGER, I WILL BE ON MY OTHER WORDPRESS BLOG  https://maritzacummings.wordpress.com

Growth

Everything we ever experience in life stems from the need to grow. We are unaware at the time when the roof seems to be falling on our heads, that the situation which seems horrifying is actually a blessing send from above.  Our pain is our biggest teacher and the times of laughter a time to reflect from our past pain. We are here on this beautiful blue planet to grow, get rid of baggage and over all enjoy the moments provided from our loving creator whom we are connected to in more ways than we know. 

I am not religious in fact, I despise dogma, I feel religion was created to control us and keep us contained in stagnation, fear and confusion. I want to believe that every challenge we face in life, only makes us stronger and teaches us the lessons we are here to learn, making us better people, productive and well rounded in the end. If we don't learn the lesson the first time around, it will continue to show it's ugly head. Just look back at your life, the many times ran into the same situations, no coincidence there. 

Our life and body is like a canvas, there for us to create our masterpiece of life. Don't be afraid to face your demons, for the sooner you accept things, the quicker you learn your lessons and are able to move on. Treat your life like a major Hollywood production, with you and others being actors on a stage. Don't take things to heart or wear your feelings on your sleeves. The things you encounter or the treatment from others is really not just about you, but sometimes it's a collective project for others to learn while you are engaged in their dynamics. I have so much to be thankful for, my journey's and yes I have had many, they have taught me valuable lessons that I will forever hold dear in my heart. I am a better person for it, and now capable of loving beyond measures, something I did not know how to do before. 

Forgiveness is another important player in our lives, we need to start by forgiving ourselves, then others. This is the most freeing tool we can posses as humans. Just take a look at all of the forgiving moments you have had, have you passed the test or are you still holding on to that bag? Remember we are here to grow, to love and to let go. Live in the now, love with all of your might and I hope that you will understand your purpose here on earth, don't think we just come here to live and die, while suffering along the way. There is more to life, are you willing to grow and open up the door? I hope so.

Great Interview with a fellow Detransitioner 

Love you all, but love the heck out of yourself too

Ritz

Happiness Is Yours

We all believe that we will be happy if  and when we obtain a certain materialistic good, achieve a certain look, or receive any of the worldly marker of success, be it a career or a relationship of choice.  But in the end as we go through life chasing our dreams to be "happy, happiness was already in you. Nothing you do or did was actually the precursor of that happiness. 

We join groups whether online or in person that have what we believe are the characteristics that we honor and believe in. But these groups are they really looking out for your best interest? Are they really what you believe in, or is it something that was placed there? It is important to grasp the knowledge of self, to understand you fully. Are you happy because you are, or because someone told you, you would be happy if you obtain these things in life? It's safe to say that many of you really are not aware of your deep needs, inner concepts of self and are just waving someone else's flag, instead of your own.

Most political platforms uses people and their emotions to promote their agendas. Be it religious dogma, a political party, or an idealistic organization promoting hate and separation. If you want to be happy, happiness will not be accomplished by following any of these paths which in the end do nothing more than create problems for the world.

If you want to be happy find your center, go out in nature, create and start a hobby. Help the less fortunate, get in the best shape of your life. Sing, dance and paint. Stop fighting the good fight, just be you and be happy. Never forget that the only way those that control the world win, is by dividing us all, if we unite we win and they lose.

Learn to love everyone and meet them where they are at, one day you might be facing the same hateful witch hunt by a group that thinks what you do  or say is wrong. Create your reality and world, and happiness will be yours for the taking.

Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being defined by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. A variety of biological, psychological, religious and philosophical approaches have striven to define happiness and identify its sources. ( Or is it?)

Love you all

Ritz 

For Crying Out Load

For the past week or so, I feel like I have been invaded by the witches of Salem, no really, I have been labeled from everything like rapist apologists, women hater,  MRA and everything under the sun because I support my wife Lynna and the trans community. I was going through my own turmoil and fighting my own inner demons when I spoke against the community I fought hard and long for. But now that I have worked through all of my challenges, I can clearly see, and no longer wish to go against a community that I have loved for years.  My wife is transgender, I love her more than life itself. I owe no allegiance to anyone but her. I am sorry if people think I have made a complete 180 and feel forsaken, I cannot support your hate and lack of compassion for my wife and those like her. 

I have been getting slammed on all of my social media outlets, and have felt the heat from many who follow the radical feminist think tank. The group WOLF, who also have a page on face book called: we demand sex segregation safe women's spaces, have gone over board with screen shots and just trying to vilify Lynna and I for not agreeing with their mantra. We don't want to invade your spaces, the bathrooms are there for a purpose and that is to use them. Trans women have every right to use the bathroom that reflects their legal documentation, as you have every right to howl at the moon and run naked on your own private camps. There is room enough on this planet for everyone to co exist and live. Now grow up and learn to play in the sand box with others. In addition you don't have to date trans women if you don't want to, stop the paranoia and just lighten up already.

Lynna and I hate no one, we don't support harming women in any way, we do support equality for everyone, and the ability to allow humans to live as they feel best. If that makes us haters then by all means. But stop with the constant barrage and ridiculous allegations, and if you really wanted to do right by women, stop pushing your hate on the world.

Now to change the subject, since I am really over this whole rad fem fiasco, I wanted to say that I have noticed weight gain since stopping T, funny enough when I wanted to transition in May, the weight started to fall off real rapidly, this time the opposite is happening. My sex drive continues to drop, my over all health is good, no mood swings or fatigue, sleeping great and feeling really good. The headaches are less frequent if at all. Feeling good, loving returning to me, detransitioning was definitely the right thing for me to do. Goodbye Mark, hello Maritza, I can't wait to blossom into the great women that I know I can be. Will I be butch or will I be fem? Well, I think I will be a bit of both, no different than what I use to be back in the day.

Love you all

Ritz 

Please Explain

Ever since Lynna and I have decided to no longer be anti trans  and actually bring a positive light while maintaining a healthy education platform, we have then felt the wrath from the Radical Feminism cult. I have been told that Rad Fems are not about hate, separation and war against men, so please help me understand these quotes:

"All sex, even consensual sex between a married couple, is an act of violence perpetrated against a woman."
-- Catharine MacKinnon, Marxist, professor of law at the University of Michigan

"All men are rapists and that's all they are"
-- Marilyn French,The Women's Room (Percent of reported rape or near-rape incidents = .07% [FBI Uniform Crime Report list for 1996])

"Marriage as an institution developed from rape as a practice."
-- Andrea Dworkin, feminist author, lesbian activist, former prostitute

"Heterosexual intercourse is the pure, formalized expression of contempt for women's bodies."
-- Andrea Dworkin

"Under patriarchy, every woman's son is her potential betrayer and also the inevitable rapist or exploiter of another woman,"
-- Andrea Dworkin, Liberty, p.58

"Sex and murder are fused in the male consciousness, so that the one without the imminent possibility of the other is unthinkable and impossible."
-- Andrea Dworkin, Letters from a War Zone

"When a woman reaches orgasm with a man she is only collaborating with the patriarchal system, eroticizing her own oppression..."
-- Sheila Jeffreys, lesbian activist, professor of political science at the University of Melbourne, Australia

"It is not only men convicted of rape who believe that the only thing they did that was different from what men do all the time is get caught."
-- Catharine A. MacKinnon, Toward a Feminist Theory of the State, 1989, First Harvard University Press (a legal treatise comparing feminism with socialism and communism)

Here is the link so you can read the rest: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?threads%2Fcrazy-feminist-quotes.209166%2F

I personally am appalled by these words, and frankly ashamed. Thankfully I know that my being a woman is not tied to feminism in any way, in fact I want nothing to do with it.  I love men, I love women, I love trans individuals, gays and lesbians. I believe that ideology is destructive in all of its forms and needs to be eradicated like the cancer that it is. Men and women both have faults and virtues, no sex is better or more worthy than the other. They both need to learn to co exist and deal with age long hurt that has been passed from generation to generation. So please help me explain what does all this fighting solve?

I want to appeal to your human nature, those of you who are anti trans, who feel that biology is all that matters, think about this for one moment: genitals in a fetus is undifferentiated, meaning we have the possibility of being either or depending on the hormonal bathing.

There are various combinations and events that can go wrong during development, also let us not forget the spirit and personality of this child and person, that is more than just a penis or a vagina, a womb or sac. People are more than their chromosomes and DNA, they are humans with feelings, needs and intrinsic behaviors and personalities.

Why should we deny them their reality and happiness? Why must you build your political campaign around someone else's life and needs. Rise up from your judgment and personal opinion and try to be tolerant and accept that not everything in life is black or white, there are many shades of grey.

Let Go

I am a true believer that diseases stem from inner turmoil created by our outer realities. Some people are as strict about their beliefs as a stiff rod, they in no way know how to sway like a palm tree. But like a palm tree that survives the brutal storm, the stiff rod will get pulled out of its roots and will loose their center and life source.  

Humans have been taught to follow dogma, read books and cling on to theories that in reality do not hold much water, books are written by humans, who we know can't be trusted with factual information, especially when an exchange of goods is the bottom line. We must live life with an open heart, realizing that the only constant in life is change, and change is the only constant. We can believe one thing one minute and another the next. No harm no foul, it's human nature. 

It's easy to grasp on to a cause that fits our hurt and lives situation, we see it all the time. Young men and women joining the military to fight for their country, and what are they really fighting for. Religious extremist, preaching the gospel and letting everyone know that the end is here, an end that seems to never get there, only in the minds of those that behave like the stiff rod. Women's and Men's activism is no different, they cling to beliefs, create scenarios to wage war and in the end, the cycle continues without an end or resolution in sight. Driven by dogma, individuals who have suffered and feel hurt, in turn this hurt makes them want to hurt others, sometime without realizing what they are doing. I am not trying to point fingers here or pit one group against another, although I have been accused of this, I just want people to realize that this endless cycle of hate needs to stop. Please let it go, come from a place of love, compassion, forgiveness and unity. We are all suffering here, every human has to deal with diseases, financial problems, growing old, a deteriorating planet and over all the battles we create in our heads.

Women are important yes, I get that. I am a woman too. But having lived in both genders has given me an insight that allows me to tear down all the wall we create and have compassion for both genders.  I can see that all we want is to feel safe, loved and seen. But in order for us to have all of that, we need to fortify this to ourselves and others. It takes work to heal, but you can't expect to heal if you are harboring ill feelings towards others. Just my two cents and humble opinion, you can fight me all you want and feel betrayed, but I am not betraying you, on the contrary, I am trying to bring a different outlook to the cause.

Forgiveness is an amazing tool, love you all but remember to love yourself too.

Ritz

RADICAL DESTROYS

My wife wrote on her Face Book wall  a few days ago (and since we have been the target for many rad fems) the meaning of radical and how anything extremes is destructing and divisive. When we bring up the curtains and remove the veil, we actually get to see the truth behind the intent. Let it be known that any movement that may have been started with organic and purest of intent, ends up being perverted by politics and its original meaning lost and ruined. 

Angry people stand behind these movement pushing their own angry filled agenda and hate. Lets take a look at Jesus, he came to show us the way, and told us "we too can do great things than him and that the kingdom of eternity and love is within us, not outside of us". It's not based on what you tithe or how many times you go to church, or if you judge others, (so you don't get to see your own faults). So Christianity, although claimed to be started by or for  Jesus, was actually a tool of politic devise, it is used to push hateful agenda's and to promote a separatist mentality. I know there are good hearted Christians, but the gist of the religion is based on blood shed and control, the follower are taught not to think and have blind faith, they judge others, and feel they are better than everyone else, at least this is what Lynna and I have encountered and I am sure others have too. But we don't hate Christians or wish for them to have separate bathrooms and an island of their own. 

Same thing goes for this Rad Fem movement, started with good intent but instead is now based on venom and hatred against men. I will say, men are responsible for lots of bad things, but women went right along with it, so why put all the blame on one species and see the other as a saint? Women have power, in fact women dominated in years past, just do some research on matriarchal systems in ancient history.  Women are entitled to their privacy from men, but what they don't get is that trans women see themselves as women, they gave up the male card and the same hormones run through their veins as any genetic female. Their hearts feel just the same, so why push them away, to promote the hateful agenda that most Rad fems push?

I stand for women, I stand for men, I stand for trans folks, I stand for everyone in the LGBT community, I mostly stand for love and acceptance for all. Stop pushing your hateful agenda's and for those that say its not hate, they are only protecting women, no you are not, and yes you have hate, deal with truth and find out what makes you feel this hate and please get help. Man hating is not normal, in fact any kind of hating is pathological. 

Two wrongs don't make a right and forgiveness may just save you in the end. Carrying anger and allowing our traumas to dictate our lives only creates further problems and divide. My own anger almost destroyed me, coming from a place of love and understanding feels way better, believe me.

I love you but remember to love yourselves too

Ritz

I See You

Playing with hair pieces and look

Soul searching is one of the most painful self discovery a person can undertake. No amount of therapy in my opinion can fortify you with the deepest discovery of finding you. We go through life building walls, hiding who we truly are in order to protect ourselves, not realizing the damage we are actually creating with in our psyche and mind. 

As a child we learn real quick how to hide our inner truth in the quest of belonging to a group and be seen. We engage in behavior that may not feel comfortable, surround  ourselves with people, habits and careers that may not be at all in alignment with our true intent. So we grow up resentful, angry, fearful and over all unhappy. 

It is important to stay real to our soul purpose, to understand what we are all about, not what others want us to be like. I have learn the hard way, and my path has been painful. I have done things to please others, and to feel like I belong. Creating an image that slowly became angry and full of ego. I can tell you now that feeling was not good, I lived a lie, in order to feel accepted and looked up to. But instead I ended up hurting many people, and I will forever regret my actions, words and disrespect to a community that did not deserve my belittling actions and words. 

We each have a journey to take, maybe mine had a purpose, albeit, I wish I would have been kinder, but I believe now by returning to my truth, I can help heal and mend the damage I created. In addition, help others question their truth and over all create a space where people can talk freely without ego and defensiveness. People are hurting, there are so many reasons for this, but we need to realize that no one pain is more important than another. We all matter. I want to say to all in the LGBT community, to our allies and to those who do not agree with who we are, or  who we try to be, find a space in your heart that allows you to come from a compassionate source, don't point fingers or create a judgment. Instead, reach deep and try to feel the pain of others by simply remembering the pain you have experienced in your life before. Pain is pain, let us learn to see each other through the eyes of love. To all, I want to say that I see me now, and  I can now see you.

I love you but remember to love yourselves too

Ritz

Self Acceptance

Having self doubts no matter what gender identity or sexual preferences you may have has become the norm of our existence.  No matter where you turn to you are being told that you could do or be better if you looked a certain way or buy this or that product. Plastic surgery has become the solution for the unhappy, and big pharma has a pill that will make you forget all of your problems. We live in a synthetic world, a world that has kicked the natural into the curb. Many are dying with cancer, a disease of an invasion of your soul. Cancer takes no prisoners, every cell of your body is consumed changed and turned against itself. The treatment is no better, radiation and chemo the destruction of the good and the bad in hopes to eradicate itself.  

We want so badly to belong, to be seen like the cool kid, beautiful, radiant, slim, a masterpiece of perfection, after all the boob tube tells you so. No wonder our kids are wanting to be someone else, adults can't deal with their world anymore, prozac and booze becomes the breakfast of champion in most house holds. Religion only sends us into a further spin by condemning our every move and inner feelings. Try to send a positive message to someone and they drag you in their dark world and shoot you without remorse.

I have found that self acceptance is the way to find true happiness, the more we try to fit into the protocol we are told we should be, the more it pushes us away from our center. Life is not easy, it is filled with contradictions, pain inflictions and over all sad undertones. The only one that can change that is you, switch the channel, turn it off, find your center, even if it means you need to find a hole to crawl in and meditate away your lack of outer control. You and only you have the key to your happiness and acceptance. 

I have a long road to travel but I know I am in the right path. Breath and exhale, take one baby step at a time and before you know it you will be there.

Love you all

Maritza

Unconditional Love

We use the world love often and unconsciously, throw it around without any true concept of what Love truly is.  We are taught from a very young age that we are loved if we do what we are told, even our own parents who brought us into this world fail to provide us the gift of unconditional love and that to me is a source of sadness beyond belief. This lack of unconditional love from our safe haven, creates the spiral of our life long relationship problems, including the relationship we have with ourself. 

We come into this world to build not only our bank accounts and ego, but to build our spiritual connection with our higher self and our fellow spirits. Every interaction we have here on earth is not a coincidence, but a carefully planned contract that allows us to work through the many challenges and working that are fortified to us here on planet earth.

When we judge others, we are merely reflecting on something inside of us we don't like. Our relationships are there to help us see inside of self, sort of a mirror image. If you look at your past relationships and notice that we continue to be faced with similar situations it is no coincidence that these relationships are a guide for our growth, till you work things out, you will continue to be presented with the same situations time and time again. I believe in twin flame connections, and I believe that many of us are fortunate enough to be provided the gift of finding our twin. I am thankful to have found mine and ever since, my evolution and growth has sky rocketed in incredible ways, this is how you know you are with your twin, when you are faced with growth and challenges beyond your imagination.  

Keep working on yourself and rid self of judgement and your life will change, you may even get to encounter your true other half. Life is exciting and can be an incredible teacher. Surrender to its lessons and navigate with an open heart and the world will be a kinder place. I have made many mistakes in my life time, but what I have learn from these mistakes is priceless, I would not change a single thing, even my transition, because my transition allowed me to meet my twin and now I am the happiest person alive, navigating the smooth seas with the sun shinning on my face and the world is my canvas, I will paint the images and pictures I wish to see, creating an ever flow of love, abundance, health and peace. I wish you all an amazing journey of learning and gratitude, give unconditional to yourself and others and that love will be fortified in return. Happy loving.....

Realizations

Coming to terms with self is an amazing experience and not to mention very healing. I have been judged by many in all camps of the LGBT community as well as outside of it. I have done plenty of judging myself, therefore, I am just as much to blame for feeding into that paradigm. 

I want to start a new, focusing on solutions and not just pointing out the problems. In saying that, I  believe we are all hurting one way or the other, wherever we are in life. I believe that there are no coincidences and my path has not been in vein. I have grown and learn many things during my transition, and now I will put in use all of the lessons mastered into affect.

I am a wonderful human being and I will not be harsh on self or others but instead be of service for those that need it. I am at peace with my decisions and journey. I reached out to my gender therapist that I went to in 2003, I had four sessions and after she provided me with the letter, I never returned nor did she request follow up. I have forgiven myself as well as her for not really providing me with real solutions, in my opinion, 4 sessions were not enough and more were needed for better self discovery. I hope that I can raise awareness in her new practice with 20 other therapist working under her. I hope they are not so quick to hand out trans tickets to our youth and those of us who are gender variant and not fully trans. In the past I was angry and wanted everyone to fit into my regret box, but now I know that this is about me, and me alone. I want people to question their decisions, to make sure that transition is their solution. I want society to have more acceptance of gender variance, so that we don't feel the need to conform to strict gender boxes. 

I am so grateful for my epiphany, for through this I know I will be fine and heal. I hope others can also find their peace whatever form that will be. 

Let us unite, not fight, instead of pointing out problems, let us find solutions, kinder remedies, and an over all space for communication, so that we can once and for all see each other for who we are.

Love you all

Ritz

Healing The Wounds

My sister and I

This time of year is a very hard time for many of us in the LGBT Community, as well as for those who have lost a love one or are separated from their families, for some reason or another. 

I will be heading to Florida for the holidays, a 30 hour drive, since I am not fond of airplanes, especially during this time of year. I will get to meet my first and only nephew, my younger brother and his wife recently had a baby boy, and I am looking forward to holding him in my arms. I have been pretty estranged from my family since my transition, they have accepted me now, but some how Mark has always felt foreign to my family, it is a weird feeling, as if they weren't my family, I can't really explain it, but the coming home for Christmas will be a healing, a reuniting of sorts, just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. I want to tell my mother that she was right, I want to apologize for all the pain I have caused them, and make peace where there was once war.  

I know how important it is for trans individuals to feel family love after their transitioning, but many in the community do not realize that it is not an easy task, that even if they accept you, there is this deep pain that never goes away, we killed the one they loved and replaced it with a stranger.  It takes time, and even after many years, the dynamics are never the same.

I am looking forward to seeing my younger sister who identifies as a lesbian, we were very close before my transition, had a rocky patch afterwards, but then we resumed our relationship, but I am sure it was not the same for her. I appreciated the love she continued to give me as Mark, but I can't wait to hug her and give her, her sister back, something I am sure she longed for.

As I have mentioned before on many of my entries, we are not the only victims here, in fact the victims are our love ones, they are the ones that had no clue as we ripped apart their hearst when we killed the one they love. I know, I know, many don't think so, but this is how I see it, we can't expect people to be onboard with our reality.

Healing is essential for growth and one of the reasons, I believe, we are here on earth, to evolve and grow as spirit beings.  I am looking forward to this Holiday season, to have my family meet Lynna my spouse, and hope the day comes where I can meet her family, everything in due time, patience is an important factor for growth. We are here to evolve, let us not forget that, let us not fall for our own self pity and hurt, step outside of self and be a spectator, then and only then can you see the paradigm you are in, and hopefully learn the lessons you are here to learn. 

I will be taking a sabbatical from blogging, spending time with my family, showing Lynna around South Florida and just enjoying the holidays, I may do a few videos so check in on my  You Tube Channel 

I hope all of you have an amazing Holiday and New Years, I love you, but remember to love yourselves too.

Maritza Cummings

Wrong Body Or Mind?

The whole transgender concept when delving into its deep roots and etiology,  points out to a human psyche issue, based on childhood traumas, neurological impairments and over all lack of self acceptance stemming from religious upbringing or any environment that did not foster self worth and individuality.  It does not take a rocket scientist to break down the factors that created this phenomenon where grown men and women decide that they can change their gender like they change a pair of underwear. Individuality and self expression is not to be mistaken with wrong bodies, its more like societies attempt to normalize individuality by making people conform into a gender box.

When we hear account after account, the narratives all seem the same with a few added or missing factors. But what all these individuals, to include myself, have in common is self hate and lack of self acceptance, creating the illusion that they can swap their sex because they felt different during their younger years, and are not happy with the body they were given. There is nothing wrong with their bodies or genitals, but everything wrong with their thought process and realities.  They lack the capability to understand reality and live their lives emulating a temper tantrum child when they don't hear what they want to hear, or are not allowed to pursue their wishes.

Their lives are based on fun filled adventures, attempting to copy the gender they feel they are, but in the end fail miserably because they are not equipped with the tools needed to be that gender, only creating a character at best, cherry picking the characteristics of the gender they are trying to emulate. They are lacking self awareness and making everyone their target, blaming their lives on others without being able to take responsibility.

What the trans community need is to face the truth, to own their mistakes and issues, to realize that the sex they were given at birth was not an assigned sex, but a sex that they are, the sooner they accept truth and reality, the quicker they will learn and be able to live life in happiness, expressing freely without the needed validation from the world.  This is the secret to my awakening and making peace with who I am. Once I stopped fighting the world, the struggles ended, and I am now able to be free to be me.

For many people detransitioning seems to be harder than the original route of transitioning and I expected a lot more complications and mental distress than I have been going through. In fact, it has been smooth sailing on my part, the initial awkwardness with Lynna lasted a few days and we have since been great.

I believe that the secret to my success is owning my past journey and not allowing guilt, remorse, frustration or anger into the picture.  I own my past, the path I chose, and now its time to take a different turn. I enjoyed the past 13 years, learn so much from my transition and now I am ready to put all into perspective and grow. Initially I had problems with my look, dealing with letting go of the egotistical creation, putting it aside and letting my true self shine. Sometimes we create characters to help deal with the pain from childhood traumas, and challenges we face as adults, as long as we know and realize that, that is all it is, then we can move on in a healthy fashion. My advise to all of you, do not get too attached to your new self, and don't forget who you really are, it will keep you healthier in the end. If you let it, your new self will try to kill the old and it will destroy you in ways you never thought imaginable.

It is your journey and your path, it was created to help you heal, don't loose sight of that and you will be just fine.  Don't abandon all your other loves and interest and make this new creation the center of your world, it will take over and that is not at all good. Be aware of what you are doing, if this creation is to be your therapy, make sure that it is serving its purpose and not creating more problems for you. Don't find yourself putting all your eggs in one basket and thinking that this is going to solve all of your problems, it will not, in fact it can create even more. Just stay balanced and aware.

Here is the beginning of my vlogging series

Facing Truth

One of the things that frustrates me the most about this community is the lack of self awareness and ability to reason with truth. I can understand not liking the body you were giving, the gender you were pronounced at birth, but just because you don’t like it or want it, does not give you the right to negate it. You can alter yourself all you want, heck pay a doctor enough and he will attach horns on your head and you can call yourself the devil if you like, but please, please, have some sort of reality check and realize that you are not the opposite gender you were born as, no matter what procedure you get.

I believe many of these individuals really believe in their minds and hearts that they are the opposite gender they were born as, and the actual medical "professionals" who are enabling these individuals are not helping them in the least.  In fact, they are creating monsters, instead of placing a sense of reality on these folks.  The notion is that they can be who they want to be and dare anyone question or challenge their beliefs, and here is where the pathology begins. Its not that you like to wear dresses, make up and heels if you were born a man, its the notion that you can change your sex and expect everyone to bow down to your wishes and fantasies. Shaming real women, forcing men to date them and visa versa. 

The lack of self awareness is where the danger stems and in the end when the walls come crashing down, these individuals end up committing suicide, and or living a life of deep depression even after all they did. No procedure can ever change your biology, nothing that you can do will ever make you a real boy or girl, you are the sex you were born as and the sooner you accept this, the happier you will be.

Detransition progress is going well, I am feeling more and more at peace with me, and can't ever believe I allowed myself to think I could change my gender or be happy with the change. The consciousness always prevails and we can't escape our inner voice, not for long anyways. In fact, I am excited to see what lies ahead, and to be able to be a beacon a light for others who have also fallen prey for th trans agenda, letting them know that they can be themselves without hurting their bodies, their love ones and their future, because there is no future in this endeavor, it only brings destruction, unless you are one of the lucky ones who has been chosen to be a soldier for the cause. The ones they are using now to lure everyone in, promising them fame and fortune, and all the attention money can buy, but this fame and fortune will not last forever, for once they achieve what they want, they will drop you like a lead balloon.  

Let's stand up for what really counts, allowing our future gender variant kids, teens and adults to be happy with their bodies and life, let us teach acceptance, let us change the way society looks at gender norms and make this world a safer place for us all, instead of promoting the medicalization of gender and quick fix that will lead to a quicker death. Till next time...