Estrogen Blues

I remember having had problems from a very young age due to the excess amount of estrogen my body produced. My periods were erratic and painful, my moods and anxiety too much for a young body to handle. I hated everything about what this hormone stood for. It made me sick with many ailments from asthma, to hives, not to mention crippling heart palpitations and bone pain. I was a mess.

The latest supplementation I have been on DHEA and fenugreek have not agreed with me, I find to have had massive anxiety and with lots of heart flutters and an increased pulse and blood pressure. I have had to stop urine therapy since it is not recommended when taking any supplementation that alters your hormones. I find that these supplements increase my adrenal production of estradiol which my body does not like. I am going to stop and wait till my Suma root arrives and see how that goes.

Anxiety is no fun especially when it makes you sick and makes your heart feel like it will bust out of your chest. I believe the fenugreek is the culprit, once my body settles I may go back on DHEA but only take it 2 to 3 times a week. We are one giant chemistry set, and learning what works for us is important.

On another note it snowed here in Silver City and its been very cold not a great thing for an Islander, I like the change in season but prefer the warmth. Thankfully we have a great heating system and it’s all-inclusive in our rent.

On a happier note, Lynna and I had an amazing weekend went shopping for some kitchen toys to grind our own coffee beans and flaxseeds and purchased a French press coffee maker to make some awesome organic coffee.

We ordered a water purification system and continue on our health quest. Years of polluting our bodies with toxins both mental and physical require lots of purifying.

I know I will find the right mix for our bodies to lead a healthy life and to grow old gracefully.

Till Next time

The Hurt Armor

So many of us with gender dysphoria are good at eliciting validation, we are quick to hurt others as we hurt. There is a list of complications and behavioral issues that come with the territory. Many prefer to sweep things under the rug and internalize and attempt to ignore. These issues will return and bite us all in the ass.

How to deal with the elephant in the room? First of all, we need to understand our feelings, own them feel them, then let them go. Holding on to negative emotions will only hurt your progress of gender development. Many fail to accept that people who are born one sex cannot be another and technically as society sees it they can’t. However seeing that we are all born with the ability to be one gender or another, I would have to say we can. The battle between different groups and their political ploy will continue until everyone learns to respect each other’s views and try to understand the reasons behind our plight and needs.

I wanted to add that Testicles are made of the same tissue as ovaries, men can grow breast, and a clitoris is an underdeveloped penis. There are definitely lots of loopholes in these matters and lots of research to be done, then there is the spiritual realm of it all which can explain a lot of our feelings and behaviors, but thats another article all together.

I know I have gone back and forth with this and it is all due to my own internal battles, wanting to please others and continuing the same self-loathing paradigm I  have followed since childhood.

There are people who are not really dealing with GD, although it may mimic and present as such, the sad reality is that their woes have nothing to do with gender but other issues that need resolve.

I don’t want to focus on others I have done this for way too long in attempts to ignore my own baggage. I want to speak about my experience and if others see a resemblance and feel my words may help them, then great, my blog is now becoming a self-reflection and my journal.

Today is Friday, dam the days fly by, it seems as we age as time goes faster, where does it go? I am excited about the new regimen we are on, the supplementation regimen we are about to embark on. Natural herbs have been around way before big pharma and our species has survived. The way things look now, with all the synthetic heart attack causing and cancer creating substances, our survival is in question.

So first let me talk about Suma Root, this wonder root has some big claims to make and I am willing to give it a try.  https://www.indigo-herbs.co.uk/natural-health-guide/benefits/suma

I am going to be diving in deeper in future posts, but here are some pictures so I can journal how I look like, I am now 5 days on Dhea and fenugreek herb.

Lynna my wife will be journaling her progress but all I can say that 5 days on her regimen and wow.

This can be done naturally and in a health-conscious manner.

notice the hair growth on my once bald spot

5 days using a breast pump and fenugreek 

I wanted to add that dealing with one’s emotions and processing it in an honest manner will get you further ahead in your journey, using natural means will get you there in the right frame of mind.

Till Next Time

Being Me

5 months hormone free vegan 53 y/o

Having been off Testosterone for the past 5 months I can't help but wonder if I am one of the few humans who after having had a full hysterectomy and having been on HRT, testosterone to be exact, for over 15 years who is leading the way to natural living.

I am a vegan, exercise 5 days a week, and have come to learn that my personality cannot be changed or alter because of other peoples needs and wants. I am a masculine expressive human, transitioned in 2003 and have been living as a "man" since then, well with a few hiccups since being with Lynna my wife for the past 3 years. We have dealt with lots of issues stemming from her not having family support and her religious upbringing and programming, which a lot of it stems from her own thinking, after all, it is up to us to live our lives in our comfort, no validation needed from others as she has finally learned.

I continue to believe that transition needs to be based on an inner core and personality expression, that medicalization and alteration of your body does not make you who you are, you are who you are from within and learning how to tap into to that is healthy and will relieve the pain we have had to go throughout our lives.  Dysphoria can only be dealt with via getting to know your true self. I plan to write about my journey and show people that natural transitioning can be done and is the way to fight off depression and lack of self-acceptance.

I feel more in tune with myself since stopping T, since realizing that I am a masculine expressing human, who although born biologically a female, my essence is all male, and I do not have to apologize to anyone for being me.  Since being with Lynna I have questioned my identity on several occasion due to the circumstances that were presented but now that we have got all that out of the way our focus is to grow as a couple, continue to lead a healthy lifestyle, adding the emotional and mental component of it, and focusing on the health and wellness of ourselves and our planet.

Please stay tuned for further journaling as I continue my life as Mark Angelo Cummings

The Cummings