Forced Sexuality And Trans Acceptance

Okay, I believe that it is important to allow society to express their views on certain topics and they should have the right to accept or decline certain views, lifestyles, and identities. Although no one should be cruel, hateful, or harmful to anyone, the more a group pushes and forces others to accept them, the more push back and decline they are going to receive.


It is one thing to want to express on the outside on how you feel on the inside, however, it's another to force everyone to validate your identity and expect others to see you as the gender you feel and wish to be. I am guilty of this, for I too wanted to force everyone to see me as the "man" I thought I was, clearly 15 years later and attempting to live the lie, today I can strongly say, that I was misled by a narrative that is false and dangerous. I am a woman, have always been and will always be. I find it quite amusing that most trans individuals really fall for the lie and think they are the gender they transition to. This is where I find a massive problem with, that the trans narrative and the professionals that work with these individuals tell them a lie, and are being deceitful about the whole process. No man can ever be a woman, nor a woman a man, that is just biologically impossible, and frankly very irresponsible to tell someone they can.


Take a look at this video, the trans advocates made quite the fuss regarding the normal reaction to be had when someone gets deceived by a man, pretending to be a woman. Mind you there was no violence involved, and violence should never be condoned, by a normal visceral reaction cannot be contained. For those of you who watched The Crying Game, in the movie when the character of the film finds out that the "woman" he fell for was actually a man, he basically had the same reaction you will see on this video.







I wanted to add, I have been having a discussion on one of a well-known porn star who is a transman called Buck Angel. On his page, he showed discontent when one of his co-workers in the business, Jenna Jameson, was not too happy with the latest Playboy front cover person and had a few things to say about it. I chimed in and expressed my opinion that people are entitled to not accept the trans narrative, and as much as trans people want acceptance and compassion, they need to learn to give it back in return.  Needless to say, I was not very popular with the trans crowd and they, of course, had a few things to say to me. I went digging and found exactly what I have been saying regarding the reason most people transition, in one of a particular trans person's FB page, who claims transition has saved their life and they are better off for it today. I claim BS, that no one is better off, and the only reason they do what they do is to run away from the shame they lived before. Usually the person identifies as a lesbian before transition, although they do not admit it, and the need for power is very evident in trans "men", trans women transition for validation, to run away from the responsibility of being a man, they do a Houdini, an escape act, and many well, in my opinion, see this as one big game and fetishistic behavior.  Although, lots of trans people are dealing with childhood traumas, to include, lack of acceptance for how they present, their personality basically, and since now this has become a thing, well people are being forced into a reparative or corrective therapy in the worse way. Gay is not acceptable for many families especially in the religious sector, so "changing" gender becomes the thing to do.

I don't care how many of them tell me I am wrong, the patterns are so evident and as much as they think that their story is different, there is basically a few patterns of the same behavior. Sexual molestation, trauma during childhood, a very effeminate man, or a very butchy female,  they see the transition as the greatest tool for escape, an alter ego is developed and the rest is history.  After years of transition, the person starts to hear their inner voice that whispers, imposter, and the battle begins. We are going to see massive regrets taking place and I hope the WPATH has a plan to deal with it all, and the numbers of lawsuits that will be rolling in will be colossal.

Anyways, I long for the day, that we can freely express our personalities without saying we are born wrong. I wish to see empowered masculine females unlike what I did, be proud of who they are and have society accept that there are many types of females. I pray that men who are sensitive and outside of the masculine box, learn to feel free to express themselves without thinking they should be a woman. This makes more sense to me than to lead the wounded to slaughter with this crazy and I mean crazy trans agenda.

Till Next Time

Gender Identity Malarky

By now you are probably exhausted and reach the Trans ceiling and beyond. Every other day you hear or watch something dealing with a person claiming to be born in the wrong body and they are being “brave” for coming out.  The facts are that the fear of nonnormative individuals have created the push for transition, drugs, procedures and coming out to the world as a diva or divo.  We are becoming a society that accepts the notion that people need to do everything humanly possible to be happy, but little do they know that happiness does not come from what we do on the outside, but instead comes from the work we do on the inside.

The off the wall claims that people are born wrong and their minds do not match their bodies is a fallacy when you understand the real concept of gender which cannot be transferred, recreated nor felt.  The behavior of creating an object of desire for most western transsexual women who have an autogynephilic etiology have various motives.  One is running away from a situation, be it not wanting to assume the role of a provider, feeling inept, having had an experience during their childhood years that created a demasculinization, a traumatic experience that lead to obsessing on gender which can be tied in with various neurological impairment that presents themselves as obsessive-compulsive, Asperger and dissociative disorders.

We need to teach the future generation that one just does not change things to fit one’s desires, what is taking place is destructive not only to the individual but to their families and society in general. If I hear another person tell  me, mind your business, it is my life, you don’t know me, or it did not work for you, therefore, you have no right to speak for all of us, I will have to tell them they are full of themselves and their life clearly shows that what I am saying is facts, not fiction. Look around you folks.

These people lived their lives as the gender they were born as, had no outward disturbances doing so, functioned, produced a life and a family and now are claiming they were born in the wrong body, it makes us much sense as a bird claiming they were unable to fly because they felt like a monkey.  The facts are that these individuals created a fantasy, an object of desire and therefore the project began. I am not giving free range to those men who were outwardly feminine, known as homosexual transsexuals, which their motive was to be able to find love and navigate their environment without being mocked, I am however pointing out that even these HSTS show no distress or dysphoria and knew they were males, they just decided to change and alter their bodies to live as the gender they outwardly demonstrated. I think everyone should learn to deal with the cards they are given, society needs to be open to the various expressions, and big pharma needs to be stopped dead in their tracks.

“When a biological male declares that they “identify” as female, on what basis can they be claiming a female identity? They can honestly say that they want to be female, and they can potentially say that they “identify with women” in that they experience empathy or understanding towards females, but neither of those things makes someone female in the conventional definition of “female.” In fact, the notion that wanting to be female makes one female is quite paradoxical; why would someone be so distressed over wanting to be something that they already were? If female gender identity is really a metaphor for feeling like a woman (APA 2000), that raises the issue of how they know what a woman feels like. The problem with making claims about entirely internal things, things that can only be accessed by personal introspection and even then impossible to articulate clearly, is that such things are by nature inaccessible to other people so there can be no basis for comparison. So, working under the hypothetical assumption that there is such a quality as an ‘internal gender identity’, how can one know if their ‘internal gender identity’ is more like a male’s or more like a female’s? For someone to know if their ‘gender identity’ is male or female, they would have to be able to feel or experience another male’s ‘gender identity’, and another female’s ‘gender identity’, or have some way to access it, in order to compare another’s gender identity to their own to determine if it was more male or more female, but since ‘gender identity’ is said to be an internal state, that cannot be even hypothetically possible to do. To say that one “feels like a woman” requires knowing what another woman feels like; otherwise, how could someone recognize what they were, in fact, feeling as ‘like a woman’ and not like something else”. (Alex Parkinson)  http://www.transkids.us/gid.html
Do not let this Trans Agenda fool you, it has become a train wreck waiting to happen, they are in bed with big pharma and the medical community players who are basically using us all as guinea pigs for profit. Learn to deal with your problems in a more holistic way, be truly brave and be different, you do not have to fit into the gender box that society forces you to fit in. Be the best you, you can be, but please stop pathologising gender and please stop trying to be something you are not.

Here was last nights show where we speak in detail about the gender fallacy and the difference between HSTS and AGPs.

Let's Get Real

One of the few things we as humans have is our word, living in truth and being kind, everything else revolves around ego and destruction. People are being born into a world filled with lies, self-centeredness, and corruption. How did we go from one extreme to the other I ask? Well, I have a few theories on this, and let me tell you it is not pretty.

The world of technology, materialism and look at me mentality, has created this crazy breed we call the human race. We have managed to destroy what our ancestors built in a very short amount of time. You think we are all so advanced and have made such great strides, but on the contrary, we are devolving and quickly I may add. Religion serves to create fear, divide, and raise funds for the heads of the organizations of the oh so profitable churches, frankly, God has not received any of the profits, nor is she/he interested in our man made so called progress and corruptions.

Politics is as corrupt as the times of Cesar and Constantine and our leaders are getting more and more bizarre as time passes by.  The medical system which at one point made house calls and had fewer than a few prescription drugs at hand is now one big Pharma fest, and let's not forget snip, tuck and kill. Yes, we have industries now that instead of forging forward for our betterment, are creating more and more problems for our human race, and we are letting them destroy us and our planet.
I want to go back to the year 2003 when I learned of this new Cult called Transsexuals. I had identified as a lesbian woman since I was 13 years of age but in the summer of 2003, I learned that I could become a "man" and no longer be considered what I had been taught to feel shame about anymore. I could change my life and become a "man", according to the so called professionals and what we now see as an epidemic at a rise.

There were no true objective testing or findings being administered,  but I had learned what others said online when they went to these so called gender specialists, and I surely looked the part since I had been bodybuilding and dabbled in body enhancement chemicals, so I knew I would pass with flying colors and would be given the letter that would change my life.  I was on my continual road of destruction, nothing had changed except, I now obsessed with my body and would stop at nothing to get the look I so desperately wanted. Having been overweight most of my life, hated what I looked like and of course my breast from being molested as a child, the whole narrative of Gender Dysphoria surely had my name written all over it.  I see now how criminal this whole concept of being born wrong is, and frankly, there are no objective findings or true clinical studies that can back this up, we are just a bunch of narcissistically obsessed, self-loathing, traumatized souls who are not being given the proper help we really need.

We have been given the license to destroy ourselves and others without any second thoughts about it. The Trans agenda has run with this ball and has created their narratives as they see fit, and are pushing their agenda on everyone without thinking about the ramifications of their choices. These are people who dislike their lives and are bored, want more out of life and have sexualized their fantasies beyond measure and are changing the world as we know it, and not for the better.  The fantasy of being someone else, of creating a character that becomes the center of their life and universe while seeking attention and validation from others, as well as taking lots of prisoners along the way and not taking no for an answer, is ladies and gentleman transgenderism in a nutshell. Don't be fooled with the victim mentality, we are good at seeking sympathy from others and making up all sorts of scenarios to get our way, it's our defense mechanism, our way of dealing with the hurt, our damaged neurological system, and our poor self-esteems.

To this day, I still don't understand what would possess a person to do what we do, ranging from self-harm to alienating everything and everyone around us, and for those who get lucky and manage to keep friends and family, you were good at manipulating those you love, using a rather intelligible technique or threats of suicides to gain your validation. Realize I feel bad for everyone involved, to include the parasite that has taken over the host, who at some point was an organism who was lonely and looking to inhabit a bigger world.


I can only hope that people will wake up from this nightmare, and realize what they have allowed to take place, I hope that no more gender clinics open up and that more are shut down, after the countless law-suits rain in. I also hope that transitioners get a grip on reality, and realizing that there is more to life than gender and that the loss out weight the gains. I hope that more people step up, to tell the truth, and that they stop using children as their shield. I hope that people start seeing the truth behind this transgender phenomenon for what it really is. The two distinct types and motivation, that the research has clearly shown, and although many trans women have fought long and hard to hide the truth, the research and science prove otherwise.  So our two groups are homosexual males who are so feminine that they are unable to live successfully as men and do better as women; and, on the other hand, heterosexual males who are erotically stimulated by the idea of themselves as women. Blanchard called the first group HomoSexual TransSexual or HSTS and the second Autogynephilic Transsexual or AGP.


The distinction between these two groups has never been scientifically challenged; indeed, recent papers by Rametti et al, Savic and Arver and Guillamonstrongly support it. There are two groups and Blanchard correctly identified them. Most Transgender born male in the West are Autogynephilic. There are a number of reasons for this, all cultural. Residual homophobia is the main one, especially that of the ‘gay’ male community. This ruthlessly policies ‘gay’ men and condemns any expression of femininity. according to Charis O. Fleming. Here is an interesting video, among many where he discusses in detail this phenomenon.







You will never get most trans individuals to come clean or admit to being an autogynephilic, due to the stigma and their religious upbringing, but when closely studied and analyzed the signs are all there as it the research. Frankly, I would like to see people work through their pain, instead of creating these victim scenarios and pushing their sexualization on everyone else. I believe that the truth will set us free, and will help us heal and create a better tomorrow. If we continue the lies, the deceit and the continual medicalization of this condition, we will be destroying many lives. We need to put a stop to this while we still can. We need to properly handle this condition that I believe is based on childhood traumas and parasitic infestations. And although this may sound sci-fi to most, I can't think of anything else that can lead a human being to do what they do to themselves and others.

Toxoplasma gondii might be the most famous brain-controlling parasite of all. It's a single-celled organism that can infect almost any warm-blooded animal, to include Humans. But where it gets unsettling is the possibility that the parasite, which is hugely common in humans, affects our behavior too. "There are lots of studies finding correlations between [human] infection and behavior," says Weinersmith. "There was also a study that found a correlation between country-wide neuroticism scores and the percentage of the population infected by Toxo, suggesting that the parasite influences culture." There is at least one other ironclad example of a parasite which controls human behavior: rabies. Humans and other mammals infected by the rabies virus develop hydrophobia – a fear of water – and aggressive behavior, including biting. Since the virus is spread by saliva, that makes sense: Biting for obvious reasons, while water could wash infected saliva away and make the bites less infectious, so a fear of water is good for the virus. Clearly, humans are not beyond the reach of behavior-controlling parasites.

I would like to see better research and interpretation of this condition, I would like to see real professionals deal with this transgenderism, instead of the one size fits all approach that has been created to push drugs and surgery to the already hurt and desperate population that are being led on the wrong path.

Till Next Time

Attacks And Haters

If there is one thing I know for sure, when the native get restless, that means, that we are doing something right. When it comes to giving God all the credit and praise, and sharing our miraculous story, we will never shut up, you can count on that, we have through so much as a couple and see to many miracles from him to just remain silent.

We have been attacked from many communities in the past year as we learned our path, and the place we both felt we fit in this world. I like to say for those of you who are so certain of yours, congratulations, but wait a while and you will see what you thought was concrete,  will go crumbling down with the rain which softens and destroys it's base. If there is anything for certain in life, is change. As people evolve and grow, so do their beliefs.  If yours don't, you are the one with the problem, not us.

We have been ridiculed for believing in God, for changing our stances on the Trans agenda and on how feel regarding the LGB community. Our opinions are based on the rule of law, Gods law, one we now take very serious as Christians. If any of you knew me, I was not religious, in fact I use to fight against them, the reason, I did not feel worthy of Gods love and grace. Yet, when I pleaded him for help, he listened, and that my friends is all it took for me to realize that God is there, he is alive and on my side. God loves me, he never stopped loving me, it was the devil that lied to me, tears roll down my eyes as I am writing this, listening to Spanish praise music, while the Lord fills my heart with the Holy Spiritas I share my heart to the world. The beauty of it all is that you too can have his love, you just need to let him in. I promise you, that if you do, things will change, but you have to mean it, you have to want him, he will not push himself upon you.

Getting back to the haters, we now have Lesbians, radical feminists, trans people and trolls hating on our social media, even during our live shows.  We have experienced different level of hate, name calling and oh yes, attempts to throw us of our mission, Gods mission. 

We get private messages on our online transition radio show emails:

"Shame on you both! My name is Tia (Yes, my email address is a pun.) I am a lesbian radical feminist and a Dianic pagan. I remember when you both "dabbled" in radical feminism. I am completely outraged by what you are doing now. Modern gender theory has its problems, but the problems stem from patriarchal belief systems that push men and women into rigid, oppressive social roles.  Furthermore, you both have extremely sexist notions about what it means to be a "man" or "woman." I often dress like Maritza/Mark did during transition. It doesn't make me less female. Clothes are just clothes. Hair is just hair. It doesn't matter. Let people dress however they want to dress.  I know that you are probably "returning" to Christ for the $$$. It is truly pathetic.  You both are snakes that change sides whenever you think the you can make a buck off of it". 

As if we are making or have ever made any money for our shows, everything from the countless hours I spent promoting this community since the inception of Transition Radio TV 2012, where all cost came out of my pocket, including the hours I spent making the website, to our evolution of warning people against the heinous practice of transitioning minors, gender reassignment surgery and the concept that gender can be changed.

After the veils are removed one gets to see how ridiculous it all seems and sounds. I say when you are living in filth, you can't smell it or see it, but once you get clean, you look at those living in it in horror and discuss. God's plan was never meant to rewire your genetics, DNA and Chromosomes, you were born exactly as you are. You were not meant to alter your body.  

1 Corinthians  6:19 
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own.

1 Corinthians  6:20 

for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

Then we have Lesbians attacking every way possible, to the point they are becoming trolls and stalkers.

Worked with suspicious people

"Sherrie Larch said... These two used the trans community to get attention, they used radical feminists to get attention, they used lesbians and gay men to get attention, they used Facebook friends to get attention (including me) now they are using the religious right to get attention. 

Telling lesbians we need to have a good f@cking by a man for Jesus is completely disgusting and also supporting rape culture and corrective rape. Their channel is a disgusting homophobic shit fest for attention".

Understand this person has mental issues, well known for them, just google her name and the trail of madness speaks for itself. I also think she has had a thing for me, for awhile now, and is pissed off that I am now a man lover, lol. Oh and not to mention, she hates religion as most in the LGBT  community do, and then there are the ones that believe that God accepts them for who they are, and are in total denial of God's laws and rules, so they continue to live in sin, while attending Church and calling themselves Christians.

Imagine the shock and disbelief for those who knew me, to remotely understand that this once Lesbian, then trans man, alpha at that, has now returned to her female roots, and is now a woman of God, submissive to her husband and to the Lord. It may be tough to swallow for many, however if you know my past, and path, you would understand why. It was all empty before, I was searching, but never found truth until now. I had Failed relationships, drug and alcohol abuse, I was empty and broken, but now I know that God is alive, he is all loving and forgiving, he showed me grace and love and he is waiting for you to call upon him.

God saved my life, I now have no worries, I am free, I am grateful and at peace, something I never felt before, as I dealt with all that comes with the LGBT lifestyle, drugs, sex, self loathing, depression, anger, fear, guilt and lack of truth, it all stems from the devil and his lies to you, he promises you a world of fun, but it all comes with a price.  if you don't believe me, just look at those in this lifestyle, it speaks for itself. I should know I lived as a lesbian for 25 years and 13 as a trans man, I have been heavily involved in advocating for both communities, a community I can no longer support, for it failed me and its going against Gods will.

For those that claim that I used these communities, as many are writing on social media, the facts are that the community used me. They had no problem when I was the fierce advocate, promoting their cause, now that I see right through it, I all of a sudden have become their enemy. Well, guess what, we will not be silenced or bullied, as this LGBT agenda tries to force themselves as normal in every house hold via media and their propagandas, enough is enough, God wants you back and the devil will have to stand back.

Till Next Time

Maritza Lopez A Woman of God

Happiness Is Yours

We all believe that we will be happy if  and when we obtain a certain materialistic good, achieve a certain look, or receive any of the worldly marker of success, be it a career or a relationship of choice.  But in the end as we go through life chasing our dreams to be "happy, happiness was already in you. Nothing you do or did was actually the precursor of that happiness. 

We join groups whether online or in person that have what we believe are the characteristics that we honor and believe in. But these groups are they really looking out for your best interest? Are they really what you believe in, or is it something that was placed there? It is important to grasp the knowledge of self, to understand you fully. Are you happy because you are, or because someone told you, you would be happy if you obtain these things in life? It's safe to say that many of you really are not aware of your deep needs, inner concepts of self and are just waving someone else's flag, instead of your own.

Most political platforms uses people and their emotions to promote their agendas. Be it religious dogma, a political party, or an idealistic organization promoting hate and separation. If you want to be happy, happiness will not be accomplished by following any of these paths which in the end do nothing more than create problems for the world.

If you want to be happy find your center, go out in nature, create and start a hobby. Help the less fortunate, get in the best shape of your life. Sing, dance and paint. Stop fighting the good fight, just be you and be happy. Never forget that the only way those that control the world win, is by dividing us all, if we unite we win and they lose.

Learn to love everyone and meet them where they are at, one day you might be facing the same hateful witch hunt by a group that thinks what you do  or say is wrong. Create your reality and world, and happiness will be yours for the taking.

Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being defined by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. A variety of biological, psychological, religious and philosophical approaches have striven to define happiness and identify its sources. ( Or is it?)

Love you all

Ritz 

Please Explain

Ever since Lynna and I have decided to no longer be anti trans  and actually bring a positive light while maintaining a healthy education platform, we have then felt the wrath from the Radical Feminism cult. I have been told that Rad Fems are not about hate, separation and war against men, so please help me understand these quotes:

"All sex, even consensual sex between a married couple, is an act of violence perpetrated against a woman."
-- Catharine MacKinnon, Marxist, professor of law at the University of Michigan

"All men are rapists and that's all they are"
-- Marilyn French,The Women's Room (Percent of reported rape or near-rape incidents = .07% [FBI Uniform Crime Report list for 1996])

"Marriage as an institution developed from rape as a practice."
-- Andrea Dworkin, feminist author, lesbian activist, former prostitute

"Heterosexual intercourse is the pure, formalized expression of contempt for women's bodies."
-- Andrea Dworkin

"Under patriarchy, every woman's son is her potential betrayer and also the inevitable rapist or exploiter of another woman,"
-- Andrea Dworkin, Liberty, p.58

"Sex and murder are fused in the male consciousness, so that the one without the imminent possibility of the other is unthinkable and impossible."
-- Andrea Dworkin, Letters from a War Zone

"When a woman reaches orgasm with a man she is only collaborating with the patriarchal system, eroticizing her own oppression..."
-- Sheila Jeffreys, lesbian activist, professor of political science at the University of Melbourne, Australia

"It is not only men convicted of rape who believe that the only thing they did that was different from what men do all the time is get caught."
-- Catharine A. MacKinnon, Toward a Feminist Theory of the State, 1989, First Harvard University Press (a legal treatise comparing feminism with socialism and communism)

Here is the link so you can read the rest: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?threads%2Fcrazy-feminist-quotes.209166%2F

I personally am appalled by these words, and frankly ashamed. Thankfully I know that my being a woman is not tied to feminism in any way, in fact I want nothing to do with it.  I love men, I love women, I love trans individuals, gays and lesbians. I believe that ideology is destructive in all of its forms and needs to be eradicated like the cancer that it is. Men and women both have faults and virtues, no sex is better or more worthy than the other. They both need to learn to co exist and deal with age long hurt that has been passed from generation to generation. So please help me explain what does all this fighting solve?

I want to appeal to your human nature, those of you who are anti trans, who feel that biology is all that matters, think about this for one moment: genitals in a fetus is undifferentiated, meaning we have the possibility of being either or depending on the hormonal bathing.

There are various combinations and events that can go wrong during development, also let us not forget the spirit and personality of this child and person, that is more than just a penis or a vagina, a womb or sac. People are more than their chromosomes and DNA, they are humans with feelings, needs and intrinsic behaviors and personalities.

Why should we deny them their reality and happiness? Why must you build your political campaign around someone else's life and needs. Rise up from your judgment and personal opinion and try to be tolerant and accept that not everything in life is black or white, there are many shades of grey.

Healing The Wounds

My sister and I

This time of year is a very hard time for many of us in the LGBT Community, as well as for those who have lost a love one or are separated from their families, for some reason or another. 

I will be heading to Florida for the holidays, a 30 hour drive, since I am not fond of airplanes, especially during this time of year. I will get to meet my first and only nephew, my younger brother and his wife recently had a baby boy, and I am looking forward to holding him in my arms. I have been pretty estranged from my family since my transition, they have accepted me now, but some how Mark has always felt foreign to my family, it is a weird feeling, as if they weren't my family, I can't really explain it, but the coming home for Christmas will be a healing, a reuniting of sorts, just thinking about it brings tears to my eyes. I want to tell my mother that she was right, I want to apologize for all the pain I have caused them, and make peace where there was once war.  

I know how important it is for trans individuals to feel family love after their transitioning, but many in the community do not realize that it is not an easy task, that even if they accept you, there is this deep pain that never goes away, we killed the one they loved and replaced it with a stranger.  It takes time, and even after many years, the dynamics are never the same.

I am looking forward to seeing my younger sister who identifies as a lesbian, we were very close before my transition, had a rocky patch afterwards, but then we resumed our relationship, but I am sure it was not the same for her. I appreciated the love she continued to give me as Mark, but I can't wait to hug her and give her, her sister back, something I am sure she longed for.

As I have mentioned before on many of my entries, we are not the only victims here, in fact the victims are our love ones, they are the ones that had no clue as we ripped apart their hearst when we killed the one they love. I know, I know, many don't think so, but this is how I see it, we can't expect people to be onboard with our reality.

Healing is essential for growth and one of the reasons, I believe, we are here on earth, to evolve and grow as spirit beings.  I am looking forward to this Holiday season, to have my family meet Lynna my spouse, and hope the day comes where I can meet her family, everything in due time, patience is an important factor for growth. We are here to evolve, let us not forget that, let us not fall for our own self pity and hurt, step outside of self and be a spectator, then and only then can you see the paradigm you are in, and hopefully learn the lessons you are here to learn. 

I will be taking a sabbatical from blogging, spending time with my family, showing Lynna around South Florida and just enjoying the holidays, I may do a few videos so check in on my  You Tube Channel 

I hope all of you have an amazing Holiday and New Years, I love you, but remember to love yourselves too.

Maritza Cummings

Self Denial

This is now

That was then

The struggle of being who we feel we aught to be, creates devastation from the moment we pursue the "dream". As Maritza I struggled with my mannerisms, my dress code and presentation, the world was telling me I was wrong for being me. Little girls should not sit a certain way, careful how you walk you emulate the walk of a boy, these words pounded my brain and shaped the fears and low self esteem I experience today.  Looking back at my life, I see how I could have done things differently, don't we all? But badgering and judging myself just like everyone else did would solve  absolutely nothing and further create damage, the damage that I am now faced with healing.

I can understand now why I wanted to take on the role of a male bodied person, they have all the fun, authority and rule the world. But little did I know that it is actually a woman who has all the control, if only we can look past societies illusion, and really see the power of what it means to be a woman. I know that now, after 13 years of living a male's life, whatever that means, but it has given me a strong insight of the power I truly posses as a female.

What has led me to my change of heart and detransitioning you may ask? The realization that I did not have to do what I did to realize who I am.  I came up with all sorts of excuses to justify doing what I did, altering my body and creating a mirage of what I though I should be. Many in this community lose it all while pursuing what they think they are or should be. I lost many clients, clients Maritza built while creating an amazing business called  Bodies Under Construction .  At first, I was in denial, and created all sorts of excuses for the loss, the lethargic nature of Mark, destroyed single handed all the hard work Maritza put to build a career and business, placing more focus on   transgender advocacy, and running away from reality in a world that would not question Mark's validity.

I look back now and I can clearly see the destruction, many in this community have blinders and refuse to see right through the smokey mirrors and just continue paving forward with their plan, the plan to destroy who they were and everyone they knew.  I have this to say to those in this community, when you wake up from your dream, you will find many feelings you will have to face, and I promise you, regret will be one of them. How long it will take, that is up to you and your journey, but you will look back and see the destruction and wonder how did you let it happen?

Word of advise, be gentle with yourself, although the journey may have hurt many, it was your journey and something for you and others to learn from. I believe the biggest reveal for me was to learn to appreciate my womanhood, to learn to have compassion for every human and most of all, to make peace with the pain I felt through out my life.

Transsexualism Is An Addiction

When we step out of the normal balance of life there are many things that happen. One of these things is called imbalance, the typical state of disease. The world we live in is filled with synthetics, the behavior we engage in is unnatural and the things we do and crave are very abnormal. With in this abnormality there are things that have become common and seen as normal. The side effects of our behavior create addictions, which leads to more addiction, then shame, then more addiction, it is quite the vicious cycle.

Addiction comes in many forms and there are genetic factor behind it, it never really leaves you, it just takes on different forms.  I have always had a an addictive personality, my father has it, and I believe my grandfather did too.  Lets say that I have lived my life chasing happiness, getting myself in all sorts of trouble but have had the sense to stop doing things that were dangerous to my health, that is, once I saw that I was in danger. One of the my addictions was the obsession with loosing weight and looking good, this got me into bodybuilding, which lead me to the use of ergogenics that spiraled into another addiction called transsexualism.

The worse kind of addictions are the kind you allow to take over your life, the ones that destroys everything in its path, the one that makes you love it, more than you. You know, the addiction that will get you to steal, lie, and leave everything behind, including putting your health in jeopardy. Yes, that pretty much sums up what transgenderism does to you, if you don't believe me, just read through the countless Face Book pages, they all have the same narratives, from those who are caught in this addictions grip. Nothing matters, but becoming that gender you think you are.  Selfie after selfies, procedures after procedure, broken hearts and loss after loss, with the outcome being emptiness, depression and further suicide, for once the addict finds out that their delusion is nothing more than a pipe dream, reality sets in and devastation takes over.

Take a look at the very similar behaviors of individuals in the trans community. They all have the same things in common, body image issues, obsessive nature, anxiety, anger, lack of coping and social skills and not to mention being able to deal with reality.  Even after transitioning these characteristic follow them, with a few reprieve in behavior, only to return. The only way to fight these demons, is to face them, to realize that there is nothing wrong with your body, that it is your need to belong, and in the quest of belonging you do whatever it takes to get there. The obsession with changing gender takes center stage and like a run away train, you will not stop till the train crashes, taking with you hostages that did not sign up for the ride.

Only an addict believes that their drug of choice is good for them and will make them happy, they defend it and honor it, for it is their delusion, that transitioning is what is right for them and makes them happy. It doesnt matter that there is no actual objective reasoning for their plight, only living out a fantasy which they hold on to for dear life.

As an addict to another, please realize that this time, this addiction has taken you way too far. It is not worth losing it all, because in the end biology is none negotiable and all you have done is destroyed a wonderful human being, who is loved and missed by those you left behind.

Hello my name is Maritza Cummings, and I am a recovering transgender addict.

Looking Back

The way to learn from our mistakes and heal is to analyze our life and the path we have chosen. Many people might want to call it regret, I like to call it growth. Sometimes we think one way in a certain stage of our lives, and then we find our views change as we grow older and wiser. I have made tons of mistakes in my life time, too many to mention, but one thing I do know is those mistakes help shape the person I am today. So no need crying over spilled milk or regretting a thing, I will just wipe my knees and move on.

I know now that I allowed fear to lead my life in so many ways, I also allowed the lack of self love to shape my world and life. I no longer feel I was born in the wrong body, what a crazy notion that was. I can say that decision was not sane, and if I would have had the proper therapies, as many are not getting, I would have never undergone such a drastic move.  You tell a therapist what they are trained to hear, and you get a letter, hormones, and surgery, its that easy, and that is just wrong. 

Mutilation of healthy breasts

I had body dysmorphic disorder, self esteem issues, I was sexually abused from a young age, and bad experiences with men, all which leads us into a path that is, well lets say, absurd. Now I don't want to speak for every, I am learning that this disclaimer is need to prevent the mob from attacking, but I do want to say that it is important to really do soul searching and get as much help as you can before you embark on the trans disaster train. We are seeing way too many young people buying this trans agenda and ruining their lives. 

Any how, I am excited for what lies ahead, it's not going to be easy, but I know that it's what I must do to make things right with myself. I look in the mirror now, comparing the pictures of my youth when I had not messed with myself.  I can't help but feel sadness and shame. But I do hope that my journey will help others, that way I won't feel like my life has been such a waste. 

I want to take this time to thank all of my sisters out there, who are being supportive of me. I want to thank Lynna, whom I know my decision has been hard to  deal with, but this is who I am, and I can't no longer continue to live a lie. How ironic is that not what most people say, when they transition? 

Relationships and Healing

My parents divorced and I am now left to pick up the pieces and the start of a new life.  I had so many relationships, trying to find my identity and place in the world. All relationships were with females, yet, I could not be placed in a box, was I butch or was I  fem? I could not find the answer to that riddle, nor did I care to fit in any box. Fast forward many years and I found myself involved with a bisexual female whom I ended up transitioning with, and married for 10 years.  Life was good, I became a fierce advocate for what I thought at the time was the right path.

I since have changed the way I think, and have gotten to know many in the trans community. I no longer see life in the eyes of gender, I see life as a learning to tool, and gender just another tool of division for the masses.  Violet and I divorced, remaining friends, but realizing that I needed more, I continued in the quest to find love and to find myself.  I believe that many in the trans community are trying to do the same, except they get caught in the turmoil of wanting others to see them, instead of just seeing themselves. They try so hard to fit into a gender box, feeling they belong, just like a teen joins a gang to feel a sense of family and normalcy. But what is normal, why are humans so broken and their search to find happiness leads them into destruction of everything they built and loved?

If you listen to the narratives and really unfold the life of many in this community, you will find a common theme, brokenness, hurt, some sort of trauma, be it sexual abuse, religious dogma, not fitting in the gender they where born as, because of coarse they, did not make it as a "man" or a "woman", so they must be the opposite gender, right?  Because they "feel" trapped, "feel" wrong, so they need to fix it?  Well the body is not the problem, it is how they view the world, and how they "feel" they can't fit in, so escape is the only answer.

I find that until a trans person stops living in denial, and accept reality, they will continue on the vicious cycle they have started. It destroys everyone around them, and themselves. They can't ever find peace, and will continue to leave a destructive path, wherever they go.

Now, where am I in the scheme of things? Well, I no longer which to fight with my heart and head. I no longer wish to battle with anyone, I just want to be and be free, and I find that I cannot be free living a life that the Universe did not intend me to live in.  I am speaking for myself so before I get all the haters jumping down my throat as many have in the past, I want to say that this is my journey, my thoughts and my life. I no longer wish to poison my body with unnatural hormones that do not belong inside of me. I no longer wish to pull the wool over anyones eye, I just want to live and live in a place where I don't have to force the world to see what I want them to see, I just want to be me, no labels, no boxes, just me.

So anyways, the time to heal is now. It has been a long and tiring road, what lies ahead is lots of uncertainties, but I am ready for whatever comes my way. I am a woman, always have been, always will be. For those that are claiming womanhood because they "feel" they are, I can only say this to you, feelings has nothing to do with who you are, we can't just feel we hate something, so therefore I will be something else. Biology is biology which ever way you slice it. Express away is all I have to say, but make sure you are aware of who you are, and try not fall into the trap of delusion, because in the end it is you, you will hurt, and that is a hard pill to swallow when the years pass and you have to face you in that mirror.


To be continued.......