Let's Get Real

One of the few things we as humans have is our word, living in truth and being kind, everything else revolves around ego and destruction. People are being born into a world filled with lies, self-centeredness, and corruption. How did we go from one extreme to the other I ask? Well, I have a few theories on this, and let me tell you it is not pretty.

The world of technology, materialism and look at me mentality, has created this crazy breed we call the human race. We have managed to destroy what our ancestors built in a very short amount of time. You think we are all so advanced and have made such great strides, but on the contrary, we are devolving and quickly I may add. Religion serves to create fear, divide, and raise funds for the heads of the organizations of the oh so profitable churches, frankly, God has not received any of the profits, nor is she/he interested in our man made so called progress and corruptions.

Politics is as corrupt as the times of Cesar and Constantine and our leaders are getting more and more bizarre as time passes by.  The medical system which at one point made house calls and had fewer than a few prescription drugs at hand is now one big Pharma fest, and let's not forget snip, tuck and kill. Yes, we have industries now that instead of forging forward for our betterment, are creating more and more problems for our human race, and we are letting them destroy us and our planet.
I want to go back to the year 2003 when I learned of this new Cult called Transsexuals. I had identified as a lesbian woman since I was 13 years of age but in the summer of 2003, I learned that I could become a "man" and no longer be considered what I had been taught to feel shame about anymore. I could change my life and become a "man", according to the so called professionals and what we now see as an epidemic at a rise.

There were no true objective testing or findings being administered,  but I had learned what others said online when they went to these so called gender specialists, and I surely looked the part since I had been bodybuilding and dabbled in body enhancement chemicals, so I knew I would pass with flying colors and would be given the letter that would change my life.  I was on my continual road of destruction, nothing had changed except, I now obsessed with my body and would stop at nothing to get the look I so desperately wanted. Having been overweight most of my life, hated what I looked like and of course my breast from being molested as a child, the whole narrative of Gender Dysphoria surely had my name written all over it.  I see now how criminal this whole concept of being born wrong is, and frankly, there are no objective findings or true clinical studies that can back this up, we are just a bunch of narcissistically obsessed, self-loathing, traumatized souls who are not being given the proper help we really need.

We have been given the license to destroy ourselves and others without any second thoughts about it. The Trans agenda has run with this ball and has created their narratives as they see fit, and are pushing their agenda on everyone without thinking about the ramifications of their choices. These are people who dislike their lives and are bored, want more out of life and have sexualized their fantasies beyond measure and are changing the world as we know it, and not for the better.  The fantasy of being someone else, of creating a character that becomes the center of their life and universe while seeking attention and validation from others, as well as taking lots of prisoners along the way and not taking no for an answer, is ladies and gentleman transgenderism in a nutshell. Don't be fooled with the victim mentality, we are good at seeking sympathy from others and making up all sorts of scenarios to get our way, it's our defense mechanism, our way of dealing with the hurt, our damaged neurological system, and our poor self-esteems.

To this day, I still don't understand what would possess a person to do what we do, ranging from self-harm to alienating everything and everyone around us, and for those who get lucky and manage to keep friends and family, you were good at manipulating those you love, using a rather intelligible technique or threats of suicides to gain your validation. Realize I feel bad for everyone involved, to include the parasite that has taken over the host, who at some point was an organism who was lonely and looking to inhabit a bigger world.


I can only hope that people will wake up from this nightmare, and realize what they have allowed to take place, I hope that no more gender clinics open up and that more are shut down, after the countless law-suits rain in. I also hope that transitioners get a grip on reality, and realizing that there is more to life than gender and that the loss out weight the gains. I hope that more people step up, to tell the truth, and that they stop using children as their shield. I hope that people start seeing the truth behind this transgender phenomenon for what it really is. The two distinct types and motivation, that the research has clearly shown, and although many trans women have fought long and hard to hide the truth, the research and science prove otherwise.  So our two groups are homosexual males who are so feminine that they are unable to live successfully as men and do better as women; and, on the other hand, heterosexual males who are erotically stimulated by the idea of themselves as women. Blanchard called the first group HomoSexual TransSexual or HSTS and the second Autogynephilic Transsexual or AGP.


The distinction between these two groups has never been scientifically challenged; indeed, recent papers by Rametti et al, Savic and Arver and Guillamonstrongly support it. There are two groups and Blanchard correctly identified them. Most Transgender born male in the West are Autogynephilic. There are a number of reasons for this, all cultural. Residual homophobia is the main one, especially that of the ‘gay’ male community. This ruthlessly policies ‘gay’ men and condemns any expression of femininity. according to Charis O. Fleming. Here is an interesting video, among many where he discusses in detail this phenomenon.







You will never get most trans individuals to come clean or admit to being an autogynephilic, due to the stigma and their religious upbringing, but when closely studied and analyzed the signs are all there as it the research. Frankly, I would like to see people work through their pain, instead of creating these victim scenarios and pushing their sexualization on everyone else. I believe that the truth will set us free, and will help us heal and create a better tomorrow. If we continue the lies, the deceit and the continual medicalization of this condition, we will be destroying many lives. We need to put a stop to this while we still can. We need to properly handle this condition that I believe is based on childhood traumas and parasitic infestations. And although this may sound sci-fi to most, I can't think of anything else that can lead a human being to do what they do to themselves and others.

Toxoplasma gondii might be the most famous brain-controlling parasite of all. It's a single-celled organism that can infect almost any warm-blooded animal, to include Humans. But where it gets unsettling is the possibility that the parasite, which is hugely common in humans, affects our behavior too. "There are lots of studies finding correlations between [human] infection and behavior," says Weinersmith. "There was also a study that found a correlation between country-wide neuroticism scores and the percentage of the population infected by Toxo, suggesting that the parasite influences culture." There is at least one other ironclad example of a parasite which controls human behavior: rabies. Humans and other mammals infected by the rabies virus develop hydrophobia – a fear of water – and aggressive behavior, including biting. Since the virus is spread by saliva, that makes sense: Biting for obvious reasons, while water could wash infected saliva away and make the bites less infectious, so a fear of water is good for the virus. Clearly, humans are not beyond the reach of behavior-controlling parasites.

I would like to see better research and interpretation of this condition, I would like to see real professionals deal with this transgenderism, instead of the one size fits all approach that has been created to push drugs and surgery to the already hurt and desperate population that are being led on the wrong path.

Till Next Time

Gender Dysphoria Is Mental

I am amazed at how money influences the perception of what is right or wrong, healthy or unhealthy and finally how it has become mainstream when it was once considered a Jerry Springer sideshow. What a few years and a few dollars can do for a movement that was seen mostly in back street alleys, where trans women would pay to get silicone injections, in lonely bedrooms, where men dressed to impress in front of a mirror, and women would enter drag king shows to let her male side out for the night. Fast forward a few years and there is Bruce Jenner the deliverer of this perversion as he tells women how to be women, and accepting an award of sorts for letting his freak out, I find this alarming and repulsive, to say the least. What you do in the privacy of your bedroom is your business and frankly, God will tend to you, but when you push it blatantly in front of everyone, I say it's time to stop.  I also say, we are now seeing the most horrific form of human mental decline that has ever been known to mankind.

We are seeing a full out anarchy, rebellion, and a freak show of the largest proportion that has been known to man. People are self-identifying, going to seek help from these so called professionals who have no idea with what they are dealing with. They are creating this as they go along, listening to these broken individuals, (I use to be one of them) dictate what they feel they should be and how they should be treated. There are zero objective tools to diagnose or identify this problem. A once Drag Queen, a homophobic homosexual, a fetish autogynephilic man, a lesbian who can't deal with who she is, and a confused set of teens and youngsters who find this whole gender swap exciting and convenient for their situation, while nothing points to real issues or a set of objective findings that can properly pinpoint the problem are the leaders of this movement?  I can tell you this, and I feel strongly and have the authority to speak on this, unbeknownst to those who say I don't, there is no such thing as being trans,  gender dysphoria or any real distress involved with gender, only people with real mental issue that have jumped into a trans-pool which are now trying to tell people how to feel, think and  how to deal with them. 

So what qualifies me to speak and say what I am saying? Well let me give you the short of it, I lived it for 13 years, advocated for it, taught about it in classrooms, led seminars, interviewed hundreds, got interviewed, written books, articles, have done research, lived with and married trans "women", pretty much my life has been devoted to these issues of the LGBT nature. I was a lesbian for 25 years, and I lived 13 as a trans man, I would think I have a few things to say. Let us not forget that when I transitioned, there was hardly any concrete information on the topic, people would come to me since I have a medical background with a huge part of it being in psychology and human behavior. So yes, I am not just  qualified, I am over qualified, to say the least. I know more than gender specialist than an endocrinologist, who by the way have no clue what and how to prescribe cross-sex hormones, the WPATH which is led by trans people and big pharma are creating the rules, with "pulling things out their ass", as their main form of resource. So people need to be leery and realize that this storm that has pulled in from the shore, is basically made of horse manure. It holds no ground and has no real science. The born in the wrong body propaganda, the manipulative tool of I will kill myself if you don't give me what I want, and the recruited mad scientists that are working to make this a reality, are just fictional characters and factors utilized by the crazies who are pushing this for their benefit.

So why has this happened you say, well let's blame the media, who by the way is full of LGBT executives, producers, money launders, political head with their own agenda and frankly a bunch of fetish freaks who want nothing more  than to convert your children into a bunch of sexual rats for their pleasure. They want to sterilize, hurt and confuse the young even more than they are themselves. It's time to stand up and speak up. I will not stay silent, I don't care who calls me what, homophobe, transphobe, religious nut, who cares. I am a woman of God, who by the way, has not  always been, but after years of living this corrupt LGBT lifestyle which lead me to a dead end, I learned that only through living life as we should, do we find peace and true love. I don't want to hear "you can't tell me what to do, or not everyone is like you" or "it didn't work for you", because we are all made up of the same thing, molecules, atoms, and protons, we all bleed when we get cut, and we all return to dust. What is right is right and what is wrong is wrong, I don't care what color skin you have, what size jeans you wear, or what your IQ is, we all have to follow laws, and the LGBT perversion has had way too much air play and its time for the season to end. GLAAD and its neo-nazi mentality bullying everyone that does not subscribe to their gay brand needs to shut it and realize that the world is tired of this gay perverted agenda. 

Anything that promotes drug, promiscuity, altering or hurting your body, trying to recruit or alter children for the benefit of fetishistic adults, needs to be shut down. Gender dysphoria is a massive mental and spiritual imbalance that needs to be seen for what it is. Why have compassion for people who are behaving badly, trying to change the moral fabric of this world and frankly are just dead wrong? Bodies are not meant to be changed to fulfill a sexual fetish, to score straight men, or to play  gender games.  These people are warped are in need of real help. These computer geeks, sci-fi seekers, dreamers, vanity filled puppets, with old wounds that are coming out in all the wrong way, will not dictate to the world how it should be run. It is time to put an end to this and expose it for what it is, one sick ordeal. Gender dysphoria is mental, and those who are promoting or accepting it, are just as mental as the ones who believe in it.

I challenge the media, to let other voices speak, what are you afraid of, if you feel so strongly about your motto, live and let live, why not let those of us who have lived it, and have the T-shirt, hats and cups to prove it, speak out against it, after all is that not what News really is, not just a one-sided report? 

I am not God, and I am not here to judge you, you will have your judgment day, what I am is a truth seeker and truth teller, who wants to inform the world of what is taking place. I have the right to do so, just as you feel you have the right to alter yourself, but when you are pushing this as if it's normal, and perverting the young, it's time to scream out of the top of our lungs. NO MORE......

Till Next Time

Maritza Lopez

Attacks And Haters

If there is one thing I know for sure, when the native get restless, that means, that we are doing something right. When it comes to giving God all the credit and praise, and sharing our miraculous story, we will never shut up, you can count on that, we have through so much as a couple and see to many miracles from him to just remain silent.

We have been attacked from many communities in the past year as we learned our path, and the place we both felt we fit in this world. I like to say for those of you who are so certain of yours, congratulations, but wait a while and you will see what you thought was concrete,  will go crumbling down with the rain which softens and destroys it's base. If there is anything for certain in life, is change. As people evolve and grow, so do their beliefs.  If yours don't, you are the one with the problem, not us.

We have been ridiculed for believing in God, for changing our stances on the Trans agenda and on how feel regarding the LGB community. Our opinions are based on the rule of law, Gods law, one we now take very serious as Christians. If any of you knew me, I was not religious, in fact I use to fight against them, the reason, I did not feel worthy of Gods love and grace. Yet, when I pleaded him for help, he listened, and that my friends is all it took for me to realize that God is there, he is alive and on my side. God loves me, he never stopped loving me, it was the devil that lied to me, tears roll down my eyes as I am writing this, listening to Spanish praise music, while the Lord fills my heart with the Holy Spiritas I share my heart to the world. The beauty of it all is that you too can have his love, you just need to let him in. I promise you, that if you do, things will change, but you have to mean it, you have to want him, he will not push himself upon you.

Getting back to the haters, we now have Lesbians, radical feminists, trans people and trolls hating on our social media, even during our live shows.  We have experienced different level of hate, name calling and oh yes, attempts to throw us of our mission, Gods mission. 

We get private messages on our online transition radio show emails:

"Shame on you both! My name is Tia (Yes, my email address is a pun.) I am a lesbian radical feminist and a Dianic pagan. I remember when you both "dabbled" in radical feminism. I am completely outraged by what you are doing now. Modern gender theory has its problems, but the problems stem from patriarchal belief systems that push men and women into rigid, oppressive social roles.  Furthermore, you both have extremely sexist notions about what it means to be a "man" or "woman." I often dress like Maritza/Mark did during transition. It doesn't make me less female. Clothes are just clothes. Hair is just hair. It doesn't matter. Let people dress however they want to dress.  I know that you are probably "returning" to Christ for the $$$. It is truly pathetic.  You both are snakes that change sides whenever you think the you can make a buck off of it". 

As if we are making or have ever made any money for our shows, everything from the countless hours I spent promoting this community since the inception of Transition Radio TV 2012, where all cost came out of my pocket, including the hours I spent making the website, to our evolution of warning people against the heinous practice of transitioning minors, gender reassignment surgery and the concept that gender can be changed.

After the veils are removed one gets to see how ridiculous it all seems and sounds. I say when you are living in filth, you can't smell it or see it, but once you get clean, you look at those living in it in horror and discuss. God's plan was never meant to rewire your genetics, DNA and Chromosomes, you were born exactly as you are. You were not meant to alter your body.  

1 Corinthians  6:19 
Do you not know that your bodies are temples of the Holy Spirit, who is in you, whom you have received from God? You are not your own.

1 Corinthians  6:20 

for God bought you with a high price. So you must honor God with your body.

Then we have Lesbians attacking every way possible, to the point they are becoming trolls and stalkers.

Worked with suspicious people

"Sherrie Larch said... These two used the trans community to get attention, they used radical feminists to get attention, they used lesbians and gay men to get attention, they used Facebook friends to get attention (including me) now they are using the religious right to get attention. 

Telling lesbians we need to have a good f@cking by a man for Jesus is completely disgusting and also supporting rape culture and corrective rape. Their channel is a disgusting homophobic shit fest for attention".

Understand this person has mental issues, well known for them, just google her name and the trail of madness speaks for itself. I also think she has had a thing for me, for awhile now, and is pissed off that I am now a man lover, lol. Oh and not to mention, she hates religion as most in the LGBT  community do, and then there are the ones that believe that God accepts them for who they are, and are in total denial of God's laws and rules, so they continue to live in sin, while attending Church and calling themselves Christians.

Imagine the shock and disbelief for those who knew me, to remotely understand that this once Lesbian, then trans man, alpha at that, has now returned to her female roots, and is now a woman of God, submissive to her husband and to the Lord. It may be tough to swallow for many, however if you know my past, and path, you would understand why. It was all empty before, I was searching, but never found truth until now. I had Failed relationships, drug and alcohol abuse, I was empty and broken, but now I know that God is alive, he is all loving and forgiving, he showed me grace and love and he is waiting for you to call upon him.

God saved my life, I now have no worries, I am free, I am grateful and at peace, something I never felt before, as I dealt with all that comes with the LGBT lifestyle, drugs, sex, self loathing, depression, anger, fear, guilt and lack of truth, it all stems from the devil and his lies to you, he promises you a world of fun, but it all comes with a price.  if you don't believe me, just look at those in this lifestyle, it speaks for itself. I should know I lived as a lesbian for 25 years and 13 as a trans man, I have been heavily involved in advocating for both communities, a community I can no longer support, for it failed me and its going against Gods will.

For those that claim that I used these communities, as many are writing on social media, the facts are that the community used me. They had no problem when I was the fierce advocate, promoting their cause, now that I see right through it, I all of a sudden have become their enemy. Well, guess what, we will not be silenced or bullied, as this LGBT agenda tries to force themselves as normal in every house hold via media and their propagandas, enough is enough, God wants you back and the devil will have to stand back.

Till Next Time

Maritza Lopez A Woman of God

In The Dark

I remember when I was a small child, everything revolved around gender and stereotypes. I don't know if anyone else has these memories, but my mother made sure I knew I was a girl and focused on providing me with girl things. I was constantly told how wrong I was whenever I engaged in boy play, boy actions and or fought against girl things. I don't know why I did not gravitate towards girly things, but it was the core of my upbringing, the battle between mom and I lasted a life time and to this day, it still does. 

Even after I have detransitioned, my mom is not seeing the results that she would like to see fast enough. I can see the disapproval in her face and demeanor. I know she means well, and I am sure she meant well through out my life, but I believe her push for me to be the girl she gave birth to, actually led to wanting to be more masculine and fight my feminine essence. I find myself now being drawn to more feminine things and can't wait to be seen as a woman, have my long hair back, be able to wear more feminine attire and over all live the remaining years as a woman. 

I think society is at fault for all the confusion and judgment we all face due to our quirkiness. We should all be able to express, experiment and execute our self as we see fit without judgment or ridicule, including from our own parents.  Add religious dogma  to the mix, that plays on people emotions and fears when they do not fit the perfect little gender boxes, is enough to drive people to the opposite direction. If society was less stressed on peoples expression and accepted everyone for who they were, we would not see all the problems we are seeing today. 

I do see improvements, but we have a long way to go. People and their neurosis with what gender is or what sex is suppose to be are only creating internal battles in others which in turn affects everyone on this planet. I say take a chill pill and let people be already. Who cares if a trans person was born the opposite sex they identify as, is it any of your business? Your uterus won't fall off if a trans woman says she is a woman, don't worry they are not asking you for your ovaries to make them complete. No one is trying to take away your womanhood, there are no quotas on earth for the amount of woman allowed, so breath easy you are safe. There is enough room on this planet for trans women and women alike.

Stop playing the biology card, and start realizing there is more to life the sperm and ovum. Oh and for those who claim that I am standing by my "man", if you even knew me, you would know how much of a ball buster and strong headed individual I am. I have come to this completed 180 due to my own detransition, it has allowed me to feel compassion and have a full on understanding of a feeling of being a woman. You may not understand since you have never had to go through this whole cluster fuck of feelings and emotions, but I can tell you this, your nay saying and constant friction helps no one. You don't even know it but you are hurting women as well. There are many women who are born with lots of androgen, they too will be a victim of harassment in their own toilets. So please give it a break and get out of the darkness. Its 2016 we humans are evolving, you don't want to be seen or left to be a dinosaur.  

Life is too precious and our path very difficult to be a thorn in someone else's path. I love you but remember to love yourselves too

Ritz

PLEASE NOTE I WILL NOT  BE WRITING MY BLOG HERE ANY LONGER, I WILL BE ON MY OTHER WORDPRESS BLOG  https://maritzacummings.wordpress.com

Self Reflecting Bug

In reality when people fight against a particular cause or person, they are actually fighting the demons they deal with, within themselves on a daily basis.  My transition was all about hating parts of me that was made to feel undesirable and unwanted. The upbringing and stereotypical format we as women are use to contend with, leads us to become that which we hate, and run away from that which we are. I see all these movements waving a hate flag, making everyone the enemy and in reality doing much of nothing but endless void voices without action or real cause. 

I fought my femininity for the longest time and only wanting to feel my masculine parts that constitutes a part of me. I feel so much need now to embrace the sacred feminine in me. I want my long hair, my soft hairless skin, a body that moves swiftly and gingerly through this world. I want more than anything to feel that gentle nature that I fought hard to get rid off, because I didn't want to be hurt by others in the end. That fear only leads to hurt, not only self but others. We really do not need to battle, battles are destructive and in the end hurts not only your oppressors but yourself as well. 

Take time to reflect, to feel the pain, own it, understand it, then push it away. Forgive and forget, because just the mere memory is damaging. How many women live in fear of rape because they were once raped or molested, if you hold on to that, the damage will follow you for the rest of your life? Trust me freeing yourself from that is so powerful and healing. If you hold on to it, it will continue to harm you and others around you, you will not allow true love in your heart and will bring more of the same pain into your life.

Take the time to heal, be present and notice your every thought. Are you constantly angry? Are you always thinking someone is going to hurt you or that you are entitled? Let go of those thoughts free yourself from that prison. There is no one out to get you, the world is your oyster and everyone in life there to love and help you. Create this reality and watch your world change.

Woman are not a commodity for a political movement, women are part of humanity which has another component. We need each other to make this world go round and to make life happen. Men are just as important for the survival our species and are just as much of a victim as we are. Remember you can't wash one hand without another.  

Love you all, but love yourselves too

Ritz

Happiness Is Yours

We all believe that we will be happy if  and when we obtain a certain materialistic good, achieve a certain look, or receive any of the worldly marker of success, be it a career or a relationship of choice.  But in the end as we go through life chasing our dreams to be "happy, happiness was already in you. Nothing you do or did was actually the precursor of that happiness. 

We join groups whether online or in person that have what we believe are the characteristics that we honor and believe in. But these groups are they really looking out for your best interest? Are they really what you believe in, or is it something that was placed there? It is important to grasp the knowledge of self, to understand you fully. Are you happy because you are, or because someone told you, you would be happy if you obtain these things in life? It's safe to say that many of you really are not aware of your deep needs, inner concepts of self and are just waving someone else's flag, instead of your own.

Most political platforms uses people and their emotions to promote their agendas. Be it religious dogma, a political party, or an idealistic organization promoting hate and separation. If you want to be happy, happiness will not be accomplished by following any of these paths which in the end do nothing more than create problems for the world.

If you want to be happy find your center, go out in nature, create and start a hobby. Help the less fortunate, get in the best shape of your life. Sing, dance and paint. Stop fighting the good fight, just be you and be happy. Never forget that the only way those that control the world win, is by dividing us all, if we unite we win and they lose.

Learn to love everyone and meet them where they are at, one day you might be facing the same hateful witch hunt by a group that thinks what you do  or say is wrong. Create your reality and world, and happiness will be yours for the taking.

Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being defined by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. A variety of biological, psychological, religious and philosophical approaches have striven to define happiness and identify its sources. ( Or is it?)

Love you all

Ritz 

Love Is All That Matters

Finding self acceptance and understanding that the only constant in life is change may help us evolve and grow in our wisdom. There are many people in the world that are stuck in logistics believing that biology is the only true marker for sex and identity. I use to be one of those people till my detransitioning and awakening took place.  I am detransitioning not because I don't believe that sex is none negotiable, as I use to believe before, but instead because my female side is more powerful and I missed her so. I could have easily continued to live as Mark, I played him very well. But I miss Maritza's gentle smile, her strength of character which was stronger than Marks Alpha appearing nature. Maritza needed to heal and took a back seat, while Mark handled things for the 13 years of my trans experience. 

I believe transition has made me a better person, and I find that I am so much more complete now than ever before. I don't need to fight society or the system to prove who I am, I know now I am that I am. I have learn to love, something Maritza did not know how to do, not even Mark, but through my lived experience and the presence of my angel Lynna, my heart opened up and now all I can feel is love. Unconditional divine love. I  can now feel, when before I was closed and unexpressive. Lynna freed me, showed me how to love in ways I didn't think where possible.

I will fight for her and for all my trans brothers and sisters, dare anyone talk bad or not validate their truth, for I will speak up, I will prove how wrong the nay sayers are. They are simply scared and their fears are creating the divide. Biology is not as concrete as we may think it is, humans have not even began to scratch the surface of the brain, the heart and the soul. 

I still believe people need to be mindful that transition is what they truly want and need. There are lots of complications and concerns to be had. But please be free to be, be love, be present and most of all be kind. For in the end with all the material things we gather and all of the hatred we harbor, the only thing in life that really matters is love.

Love you all

Ritz

Changes

It has been 2 months since I have been off Testosterone and I feel great. I am currently not on any hormones and allowing my body to do her own thing. I am confident that she will do right by me and I will be the picture of health and balance. I am happy emotionally, feeling good physically and today we have started another water fast. I believe fasting will expedite the healing process as will eating natural organic foods.

I wanted to discuss the changes I have seen thus far. First of all, my mind feels so much sharper as does my speech. I have always had a bit of a loss for words since transitioning, the research shows the a loss of grey matter takes place which affects our communication and now since being free of T for 2 months I feel more fluid and coherent. My facial and body hear are still coming in coarse and steady, not happy about that, and hoping that it will change with the passing months. I will be scheduling Laser when I move to Florida in a couple of months. 

My hair progress is coming along just fine and I have learn some really cool procedures that I will be using  to help it along. I was informed about a derma roller that is not only good for the skin but to stimulate hair follicles, here is a link Derma roller. 

Here is a comparison shot on the Left was the initial shot on Nov 15th on the right is on Jan 10th 2016. 

I am excited to see the many changes I will experience, already I see my face is softening up and that is with out estrogen of any kind since I don't have ovaries and I am not supplementing as of yet. I will play it by ear and see how it goes. If I take anything it will be natural, non synthetic.

As we lay in bed fasting and writing my blog, I can't help but wonder what is in store for the future. The challenges I still face with documentation changes, and learning to navigate my environment again after living life as a male identified person. I am optimistic and happy with lots of new found peace that radiates in every word I say and every thought I think. I am blessed to have a wonderful supporting spouse by my side who loves me for me, and that is whats important. My detransitioning has allowed me to have more compassion for the trans community and to be more empathetic with others. I know that many are not in accordance with the trans community for whatever reasons, but I have learned that everyone is entitled to live their lives. I do want to place emphasis on the importance to know if transitioning is right for you and not just to jump on the bandwagon because you think its the cooler thing to do. Do lots of soul searching, you don't want to do what I did and find out 13 years later that is was the wrong path. Note it was the wrong path for me, I am not saying it is the wrong path for everyone. I can only share my story and speak about me, and me alone.

Any way guys hope you are having a relaxing Sunday, I know Lynna and I are, chilling and fasting, reaching ultimate levels of healing and continuing to do much soul searching.

Lots of Love

Ritz

Love Is The Key To Healing

In the past I have allowed my emotions to get the better of me, being more reactive and not really thinking things through. If someone attacked me, I felt the urge to attack back. But since my vacation in Florida and hanging out with my sister and her lover who are really working with spiritual tools to help heal the soul, I have had a change of heart on what my approach will be from now in my advocacy. I will no longer find problems but instead focus on solutions coming from the heart and not mind based. I will no longer attack communities because they are no aligned with what I think is right. 

I will work to help heal people and share my journey as a tool for healing and not destruction. I now know that my approach was wrong and that I have no one to battle with, I am here to grow and evolve as a spirit being having a human experience. I apologize to all that I have hurt in the past with my words and strict dogma on how transitioning should or should not be. I will continue to educate providing information for those who need it, but I will not judge or use harsh words. I hope the new years brings everyone peace of mind and heart. I wish everyone on whatever journey you are on, pure love and tranquility, may you find that peace you seek. I will lead by example, and hope we can all one day make peace and not war.

It has been a real snowy couple of days, lots of time to reflect on my two weeks vacation, we are looking forward to moving to Florida and looking forward to being a beacon of love and light for those who wish to hear our message.

Love to all

Ritz

Releasing The Battle

Well hello everyone, hope you enjoyed your holidays, I know we did, South Florida is an amazing place full of life and very green. Lynna and I spent an amazing two weeks with my family and getting reacquainted with our Caribbean roots. The amazing flavors of Cuban and Puerto Rican cuisine made our vacation even that more enjoyable.  The dynamics between my family and Lynna were very favorable and although I know my mother would much prefer Lynna to be fully male identified, they still made a connection that I am sure will grow as time goes by. My sister and her partner were the most gracious of hosts and made our stay there incredibly memorable. We made videos during the time there, some detransitioning ones and some as a couple.  

One of the things I learn during the past two weeks is the real pain Lynna is in and how she battles with gender and how society wishes her to be. I can be empathetic with her, since after all she is my heart and I love her beyond any measure, this love has allowed me to have more compassion for others and not just focus on my anger towards the trans community and the patriarchal system. In saying this my views are still the same, I am full on detransition mode, and I still believe that happiness is not found in an operating table or by taking hormones, but this conclusion is mine and mine alone, and I can't force my views on the trans community, it would make my plight no different than theirs as they try to force the world to see them. We have to see ourselves and realize this is a self journey and only self can be the catalyst for change.  I still feel that transition is not for everyone and that we should not facilitate the option to our youth, instead we should allow them to self express, to explore their identity and to give their bodies a fighting chance by going through puberty, its part of our human experience. 

My journey has allowed me to be grateful for having been born female, I can now appreciate who I am. My health is amazing considering I have no hormones flowing through my veins, only what my pituitary and adrenal glands are providing and I believe this will be enough to keep me healthy. I feel a sense of peace and although Lynna has been a challenge since my detransitioning, I figure it has had to be hard for her losing her Mark, the person she fell for when she headed to New Mexico. But I know deep in my heart that we will be just fine, our love is strong enough to deal with all this gender challenges and questioning of self. I hope to make mends with those I may have hurt during my retaliation phase when I felt a back lash from the trans community, I want peace for everyone and I realize that everyone is on a journey and I am no one to tell them how to travel their path. 

Here are some of the videos we made during our vacation :

https://www.youtube.com/playlist?list=PLBIC9YugmzUmQ9dXsO5rXlGoAtBDeer6K

https://youtu.be/HjEeYwvcTZY

https://youtu.be/_z--G697U7E

For many people detransitioning seems to be harder than the original route of transitioning and I expected a lot more complications and mental distress than I have been going through. In fact, it has been smooth sailing on my part, the initial awkwardness with Lynna lasted a few days and we have since been great.

I believe that the secret to my success is owning my past journey and not allowing guilt, remorse, frustration or anger into the picture.  I own my past, the path I chose, and now its time to take a different turn. I enjoyed the past 13 years, learn so much from my transition and now I am ready to put all into perspective and grow. Initially I had problems with my look, dealing with letting go of the egotistical creation, putting it aside and letting my true self shine. Sometimes we create characters to help deal with the pain from childhood traumas, and challenges we face as adults, as long as we know and realize that, that is all it is, then we can move on in a healthy fashion. My advise to all of you, do not get too attached to your new self, and don't forget who you really are, it will keep you healthier in the end. If you let it, your new self will try to kill the old and it will destroy you in ways you never thought imaginable.

It is your journey and your path, it was created to help you heal, don't loose sight of that and you will be just fine.  Don't abandon all your other loves and interest and make this new creation the center of your world, it will take over and that is not at all good. Be aware of what you are doing, if this creation is to be your therapy, make sure that it is serving its purpose and not creating more problems for you. Don't find yourself putting all your eggs in one basket and thinking that this is going to solve all of your problems, it will not, in fact it can create even more. Just stay balanced and aware.

Here is the beginning of my vlogging series

The Mountain Climb

13 years of living in a body I created, a persona that was brought to life by me is now being demolished, thankfully due to self awareness and growth. My life the past 13 years has had a lot of ups and downs, good days and bad and overall quite the theatrical production. I have advocated, educated, married, fallen in and out of love, gain weight, loss weight, bought and sold houses, traveled, hurt, been hurt, cried, laughed, fallen in and out of depression, felt the need to commit suicide (not ever because of gender dysphoria, but having the tendencies due to the neurological impairment I face), wanted to live and so on. There has not been one single emotion I have not felt through out these 13 years living as your typical alpha male who was given a successful business by the true me, Maritza, but managed to give it away and lost it all.

What I am trying to get here is that gender dysphoria is not the basis for our problems and it is actually a false notion that many of us who are dealing with so many deeper issues are holding on to.  After these 13 years of not only living as a trans man, but living with and dealing with hundred of individuals in this community, I can safely say, we have a neurological issue based on childhood trauma and events, that carved our neurological system to function inappropriately and making us think we were born in the "wrong body". Honestly, if you are a trans person do some soul searching, look back at your childhood and see what you had to face. Many say everything was due to being born in the wrong body and being ridiculed, I say it was the lack of acceptance of self and lack of strength for not allowing yourself to be who you are, and instead created the character that allowed you to run away. The boy that imagined he was a girl, the girl that imagine she was a boy, it was cooler to live that fantasy, the typical personality disorder scenario.

Our brain has lots of plasticity and it creates all of its paradigms, fears, addictions, and mental health problems based on our environment, altering its DNA, healthy tissue production and normal synapses. We have become diseased by our environment which has changed our normal thinking patterns and behavior. We need to heal, not alter our bodies or take on dangerous hormones, we need to address our childhood issues and learn to recreate a safer world to live in. It is up to us, enough of blaming everyone else around us. Our parents did the best they could with the knowledge they had. I think that there should be classes provided for future parents on how to raise children, religion needs to calm down and stop shoving their dogma down people's throats and be kinder with their message. I believe that if we nip this problem in the bud early on, there will not be anymore of this crazy transgenderism in our planet, and people will learn to be healthy normal adults.

I really want to bring awareness to our human condition and diseases, we learn as we go along and can really help one another. I want people to realize that they don't need to hurt themselves to be happy, on the contrary the more you do the unhappier you will be. Learn to find your inner truth, work on that, and leave your outside self alone, it is only an illusion that you are creating which will fall down like a house of cards.

Shedding The Layers

I figured out why so many get so irate with me and confrontational with my writings and TV Shows, well not everyone, but those in the trans community who are still in their infant stage and self loathing mode;  I touch a certain chord and wounds deep inside of them, I am definitely doing my job. I plan to make people think and think really hard on what they are doing or have done. I want people to question their actions and validity, every step of the way. There are too many people who go on this transgender train ride who have no business riding it. 

By now I have revealed my eating disorder, my self esteem issues,  gender confusion and child traumas, all of which are the typical issues faced with trans individuals. Until you come clean, and accept your flaws, you can't heal. You will continue in search of this utopia which does not exist, and will continue to hurt yourself and others until you have nothing else to give. You will continue to feel dysphoric, no matter what you do, but the difference is now you have greater problems to deal with. So why not save yourself the hassle and aggravation, and just work through the underlying issues and learn to love and accept yourself as you are. The key  here is lack of self love, we blame our gender, but gender has nothing to do with it. 

Shed all the layers one by one, find out what is the cause of  your pain, and no, its not your gender, in fact gender is the least of your problems. I want to add that I am grateful I underwent this journey because what it has done is, it has allowed me to see the true me, and it has taught me to appreciate the woman I have always been. You can say BS all you want, and you tell yourself, you were never a woman, but the facts are, that you are the gender you were pronounced at birth. You may not act as the typical girl or boy, but that doesn't mean you are not the sex you were born as. We need to learn to accept ourselves and not worry about what others think or say. 

Society is creating this outpour of transgender individuals and are harming our youth by saying we can't accept your differences, so fix it. That is wrong on all levels, and we are in the making of a major catastrophe.  People should be allowed to express as they feel inside and dress as they feel outwardly. No one should have to repress their needs but this whole medicalization and fixing of the biological sex is ludicrous. It does not work, it is a temporary fix that in the end will blow itself out of the water. 

Here is an update on my fast: Day 3, going strong, thinking about doing 7 days but will play it by ear. My health is good, feeling hungry still, the digestive system shuts down after today, so the hunger should go away. I had an enema and good meditation session. I feel at peace and balanced. I hoping to detox the T out of the body or at least get a head start.  I am excited to see the changes in me and to start to recognize my old self. I have such a new found love for myself and the knowledge I have gathered during these past 13 years have been amazing.  More about that on my next blog, till next time.....

Living Life After Detransitioning :The Early Stages

At Work as an Occupational Therapist 1996

It has been two weeks since I have fully detransitioned and feel, well, fantastic. I am fully embracing my truth, and disregarding the untruth that lead my life for the past 13 years. There are lots of logistics to work through, like changing all my documents and return to my rightful birth name Maritza, but all in due time. Right now I am focusing on cleaning out every testosterone traces from my body. I will need laser or electrolysis for my face and body and I will also be needing a hair transplant to regain my beautiful hair back. How long this will this take? I don't know, but those are goals that I have set up for myself. I feel strong and even more empowered than I have ever before. I feel healthy as of now, but it has only been a few weeks since I am hormone free. I have no ovaries so I might need estrogen, but I will play that by ear and see how my body responds, after all there are many women who at my age (51) and who do not take any HRT at all, do just fine.

I am going to recreate myself, and feel free in my body and mind. Not being what everyone else wants me to be. If I would have followed that formula before, I would not have gotten myself into this mess in the first place.  Feeling free with being me is of the most importance as well as my health. I find that being on hormones is like playing Russian Roulette, it is only a matter of time when that bullet is in the chamber and goes right through your head. So, from now on I will fight for authenticity and truth. Helping people realize what being true really is, not some made up version of who they think they should be.


Live life to the fullest, be kind to everyone around you, don't keep any secrets, take good care of yourselves and most of all, Love, love unconditionally and that means yourself as you are.

2 weeks Detransition

Turning The Pages: Welcome Back

Just as the moment of death when your life flashes before you, I feel that's where I am at, at this moment in time.  I transitioned in 2003, had quite the journey and paved my path, yet,  In the end, I found out that what I did solved absolutely nothing. I am no more a man today than I was Dec 23 2003 when I underwent a 7 hour procedure that consisted of a double mastectomy, laparoscopy induced radical hysterectomy and oophorectomy. I mutilated myself as many do in the quest of "changing" their sex.  Now I look back and think "what was I thinking"?    I became bald, hairy, scared and maimed, but a man, I am not. I know many in the trans community think they can magically change who they are by undergoing these procedures and taking dangerous hormones, but if they closely examined this, they would soon find out, that they are wrong.  How many women under go radical hysterectomies and mastectomy's due to cancer or other health issues? They are still women, not men. How many genetically born females have excess androgen and suffer from all sorts of  hormonal imbalances, having a deeper voice, hair in places they don't want, and lose the hair on their heads, many. Yet, they are still women.

My siblings and I

How many men are born with an extreme feminine personalities, love everything nice and pink, yet, are men. Yes that's right folks, this latest notion that we can change our bodies to become something else, does not make us that something else we wish to be.  We are only making fools of ourselves and the medical community lots of money. Save your money, and spend your time helping others, get out of your head and self for a minute, and realize that your gender dysphoria is not the most important thing in this world.

Mom and I

Now, lets talk a little bit about my de transitioning and this blog. I hope to be able to bring some awareness to this matter, and dive deep, deeper than most have ever cared to dive into. I did what I did back in 2003, because I believed that this fantasy was possible. But when the years passed, I realize that this was just another impulse driven by my need to belong and feel "normal"  Boy was I wrong, I have felt less normal since my transition and there was never a day, I didtn think of myself as an imposter, and oh yes a freak. I would look in the mirror and see the scars and my excessively hair body and bald head, and at times I just wanted to scream. I,  being Maritza, the real person in this body, who had to step aside for this destructive individual who ruined everything Maritza worked so hard to build. You think you are being true to yourself, but like an episode or a scene from invasion of the body snatcher, your new creation is slowly destroying everything you ever where, created or loved.


So now its time to turn the page, and start a new chapter, or maybe even a book. Maritza is back and will no longer allow this fabrication called Mark to continue to ruin her life. So I say to you old friend, I know you meant well, and in a sense was created to protect Maritza from all the bad things men have done in her life. I know your heart was in the right place, but I am sorry to say, your time is up, and you can now leave us alone and in peace. Your destruction will forever leave scars in our lives, but the time for healing is now. So goodbye Mark and welcome back Maritza, you have a life ahead of you and lots of healing to do.

Dad and I