Stop The Madness Please

I spent a lot of time having to put out fires, explaining things to people and trying to express my core beliefs and views. First of all I want to say, I don't want any harm to come to anyone in the trans community, nor do I want any rights taken away, and especially not have their medical access removed. What I do want is people to wake up and realize the truth. Yes the truth, not my truth but the universal truth that says we are not a mistake, our bodies are not wrong, our brains are not gendered, in fact here is the latest study that proves that we all have bits and pieces of male and female components in our brains, not one gendered glob of delusion. http://www.latimes.com/science/sciencenow/la-sci-sn-no-male-female-brain-20151130-story.html

People are born with all sorts of different corks and differences, some men love to wear dresses, some more than others. Some men were de-masculinized while growing up and are dealing with all sorts of skeletons in their closet. It's hard I know, it sucks, but the reality is everyone has issues and problems they are dealing with and the world is not making concessions for them, they just live. I truly believe that the real issues here are childhood traumas that are showing their ugly heads as gender dysphoria, it feel nice to run away and be another person, or should I say gender. Yeah its great to start life over and leave everything and everyone behind, kind of like a witness protection program when they change your identity and move you away to a new place never to be found, but unfortunately we can't run from our true sex, no way, uh uh.. 

Whether you were told to man up, or act like a lady when growing up because you didn't fit into the gender box you were born in, doesn't give you the free range to switch your gender, even the doc who operated you knows he only performed a cosmetic procedure that really doesn't function as the sex organ you wished to have. 

People need to start facing their challenges, be truthful and stop living a lie, this community has gotten so bizarre that they are actually believing their BS.

The time to come to grips with this disorder is now before we literally turn the earth upside down. There are no objective findings to believe the trans plight of being born in the wrong body is true only subjective feelings from a person. Harry Benjamin created this night mare by allowing a few to have SRS, because he felt sorry for them, and could not change the way they thought, these individuals where actually intersex who rightfully had a plight, but trans folks are just confused individuals who need help yes, but not the kind they are getting. 

I know I am harsh in what I say, but I know that happiness does to come by changing gender, it gives you a bit of relief, because what is actually happening is, for the first time in your life you are being allowed to express your other side, to play, wear dresses, see your creation in the mirror, but once the fun ends, reality kicks in and you have to clean up one hell of a mess. Till next time...

check this out : http://frontier-heart.tumblr.com/search/trans+women+are+bio+female

The Pain: A Day Of Giving Thanks

Having been around, dated and lived with many transgender females in the past, it has provided me a with information that many are not privy to. Many of these so called Male to Trans are dealing with deep rooted issues that stem from lack of self worth, anger and frustration. They failed as men, fathers, husbands and in many other aspects of life. They had poor to no relationships with their fathers, some never got to meet them, and  now feel as if they cannot fulfill the role of manhood in life since they never were taught how.

The "dream" of being a woman is deep for many, its as if they wish they could run away from reality and their responsibility while "becoming" the other sex, thinking this will solve all their problems, but in reality, the problems only worsens and now they have to face the catastrophe they created and left behind.  The same pattern is seen in Female to Trans, with of coarse changing the roles and gender.

There is lots of pain in this community, pain that is not being addressed properly, instead some pseudo treatment that only creates bigger issues and enhances the problems in the end. On a day like today, there are many hurt trans identified individuals who miss being home with their families and friends, and may even be feeling regret. They are in so much pain they can't even appreciate who and what they have around them. So my question is, was it worth it? Changing your gender marker can lead to bigger problems you ever anticipated, please think it through, because not only are you hurting yourself, you are also creating a title wave of hurt with every move you make.

I want to take this time to wish everyone a peaceful, love filled Day of Thanks, remember how many died for you to sit with your family today, how many gave up their land and home.  Let us be grateful for what and who we have in our lives today, cause tomorrow, you never know what brings.

Transsexualism Is An Addiction

When we step out of the normal balance of life there are many things that happen. One of these things is called imbalance, the typical state of disease. The world we live in is filled with synthetics, the behavior we engage in is unnatural and the things we do and crave are very abnormal. With in this abnormality there are things that have become common and seen as normal. The side effects of our behavior create addictions, which leads to more addiction, then shame, then more addiction, it is quite the vicious cycle.

Addiction comes in many forms and there are genetic factor behind it, it never really leaves you, it just takes on different forms.  I have always had a an addictive personality, my father has it, and I believe my grandfather did too.  Lets say that I have lived my life chasing happiness, getting myself in all sorts of trouble but have had the sense to stop doing things that were dangerous to my health, that is, once I saw that I was in danger. One of the my addictions was the obsession with loosing weight and looking good, this got me into bodybuilding, which lead me to the use of ergogenics that spiraled into another addiction called transsexualism.

The worse kind of addictions are the kind you allow to take over your life, the ones that destroys everything in its path, the one that makes you love it, more than you. You know, the addiction that will get you to steal, lie, and leave everything behind, including putting your health in jeopardy. Yes, that pretty much sums up what transgenderism does to you, if you don't believe me, just read through the countless Face Book pages, they all have the same narratives, from those who are caught in this addictions grip. Nothing matters, but becoming that gender you think you are.  Selfie after selfies, procedures after procedure, broken hearts and loss after loss, with the outcome being emptiness, depression and further suicide, for once the addict finds out that their delusion is nothing more than a pipe dream, reality sets in and devastation takes over.

Take a look at the very similar behaviors of individuals in the trans community. They all have the same things in common, body image issues, obsessive nature, anxiety, anger, lack of coping and social skills and not to mention being able to deal with reality.  Even after transitioning these characteristic follow them, with a few reprieve in behavior, only to return. The only way to fight these demons, is to face them, to realize that there is nothing wrong with your body, that it is your need to belong, and in the quest of belonging you do whatever it takes to get there. The obsession with changing gender takes center stage and like a run away train, you will not stop till the train crashes, taking with you hostages that did not sign up for the ride.

Only an addict believes that their drug of choice is good for them and will make them happy, they defend it and honor it, for it is their delusion, that transitioning is what is right for them and makes them happy. It doesnt matter that there is no actual objective reasoning for their plight, only living out a fantasy which they hold on to for dear life.

As an addict to another, please realize that this time, this addiction has taken you way too far. It is not worth losing it all, because in the end biology is none negotiable and all you have done is destroyed a wonderful human being, who is loved and missed by those you left behind.

Hello my name is Maritza Cummings, and I am a recovering transgender addict.

Looking Back

The way to learn from our mistakes and heal is to analyze our life and the path we have chosen. Many people might want to call it regret, I like to call it growth. Sometimes we think one way in a certain stage of our lives, and then we find our views change as we grow older and wiser. I have made tons of mistakes in my life time, too many to mention, but one thing I do know is those mistakes help shape the person I am today. So no need crying over spilled milk or regretting a thing, I will just wipe my knees and move on.

I know now that I allowed fear to lead my life in so many ways, I also allowed the lack of self love to shape my world and life. I no longer feel I was born in the wrong body, what a crazy notion that was. I can say that decision was not sane, and if I would have had the proper therapies, as many are not getting, I would have never undergone such a drastic move.  You tell a therapist what they are trained to hear, and you get a letter, hormones, and surgery, its that easy, and that is just wrong. 

Mutilation of healthy breasts

I had body dysmorphic disorder, self esteem issues, I was sexually abused from a young age, and bad experiences with men, all which leads us into a path that is, well lets say, absurd. Now I don't want to speak for every, I am learning that this disclaimer is need to prevent the mob from attacking, but I do want to say that it is important to really do soul searching and get as much help as you can before you embark on the trans disaster train. We are seeing way too many young people buying this trans agenda and ruining their lives. 

Any how, I am excited for what lies ahead, it's not going to be easy, but I know that it's what I must do to make things right with myself. I look in the mirror now, comparing the pictures of my youth when I had not messed with myself.  I can't help but feel sadness and shame. But I do hope that my journey will help others, that way I won't feel like my life has been such a waste. 

I want to take this time to thank all of my sisters out there, who are being supportive of me. I want to thank Lynna, whom I know my decision has been hard to  deal with, but this is who I am, and I can't no longer continue to live a lie. How ironic is that not what most people say, when they transition? 

A New Day

Hello everyone my name is Maritza Cummings and I am recovering gender addict. I close my eyes, and my life flashes before my very eyes. Who am I, what am I, where have I been and where am I going? I shake my head, I wipe my eyes, I look within, and here I am.

Many of you know me as the controversial once trans identified trans man, an identity that was given to me by society, the players, the haters the lovers, and my own egocentric self. Yes narcissism was a way of life for me, I created the perfect "man", a specimen to be admired, so I thought. But in reality who was I kidding? A hairy chest, back and face, coupled with muscles and a sexy raspy voice worthy of radio broadcast, but in the end, inside the deep center of it all, I am a woman, a scared little girl, who just wanted to be held and loved. 

So here I stand in front of the world, in front of me, the soul that has been through so much in this life, and I ask, what next? I have been on hormones since 2003, as well as dabbled in bodybuilding which made it easier to cross the gender border. It was easy as pie to change my physique, after all pharmaceuticals makes it easy to create whatever you want. But what did I do? I altered my life and body all in the quest to help society push us into their box, the box they feel comfortable with us being in.  

In our society, girls have to look a certain ways as do boys, and mannerisms, well lets not even mention those, careful how you walk, talk and dress. If I can accomplish anything and learn from my life events is this, I will never feed into what the system wants. I will do everything within my power to change things, even if its only me I am changing.

Look out world, for this fierce woman is back, Ritz Cummings will  rise up from the ashes, wipe her knees and stand proud and tall, as the woman I was born to be. No wrong body, no wrong theme, what needs to change is not the way society sees me, but how I see society. 

Words are changing our world, let us realize that who we are is not a pronoun or a feeling, but who we are is etched deep inside our soul. After all we are spirits having a human experience, let us not give away our power to those that are trying to make us powerless