Gender Dysphoria Is Mental

I am amazed at how money influences the perception of what is right or wrong, healthy or unhealthy and finally how it has become mainstream when it was once considered a Jerry Springer sideshow. What a few years and a few dollars can do for a movement that was seen mostly in back street alleys, where trans women would pay to get silicone injections, in lonely bedrooms, where men dressed to impress in front of a mirror, and women would enter drag king shows to let her male side out for the night. Fast forward a few years and there is Bruce Jenner the deliverer of this perversion as he tells women how to be women, and accepting an award of sorts for letting his freak out, I find this alarming and repulsive, to say the least. What you do in the privacy of your bedroom is your business and frankly, God will tend to you, but when you push it blatantly in front of everyone, I say it's time to stop.  I also say, we are now seeing the most horrific form of human mental decline that has ever been known to mankind.

We are seeing a full out anarchy, rebellion, and a freak show of the largest proportion that has been known to man. People are self-identifying, going to seek help from these so called professionals who have no idea with what they are dealing with. They are creating this as they go along, listening to these broken individuals, (I use to be one of them) dictate what they feel they should be and how they should be treated. There are zero objective tools to diagnose or identify this problem. A once Drag Queen, a homophobic homosexual, a fetish autogynephilic man, a lesbian who can't deal with who she is, and a confused set of teens and youngsters who find this whole gender swap exciting and convenient for their situation, while nothing points to real issues or a set of objective findings that can properly pinpoint the problem are the leaders of this movement?  I can tell you this, and I feel strongly and have the authority to speak on this, unbeknownst to those who say I don't, there is no such thing as being trans,  gender dysphoria or any real distress involved with gender, only people with real mental issue that have jumped into a trans-pool which are now trying to tell people how to feel, think and  how to deal with them. 

So what qualifies me to speak and say what I am saying? Well let me give you the short of it, I lived it for 13 years, advocated for it, taught about it in classrooms, led seminars, interviewed hundreds, got interviewed, written books, articles, have done research, lived with and married trans "women", pretty much my life has been devoted to these issues of the LGBT nature. I was a lesbian for 25 years, and I lived 13 as a trans man, I would think I have a few things to say. Let us not forget that when I transitioned, there was hardly any concrete information on the topic, people would come to me since I have a medical background with a huge part of it being in psychology and human behavior. So yes, I am not just  qualified, I am over qualified, to say the least. I know more than gender specialist than an endocrinologist, who by the way have no clue what and how to prescribe cross-sex hormones, the WPATH which is led by trans people and big pharma are creating the rules, with "pulling things out their ass", as their main form of resource. So people need to be leery and realize that this storm that has pulled in from the shore, is basically made of horse manure. It holds no ground and has no real science. The born in the wrong body propaganda, the manipulative tool of I will kill myself if you don't give me what I want, and the recruited mad scientists that are working to make this a reality, are just fictional characters and factors utilized by the crazies who are pushing this for their benefit.

So why has this happened you say, well let's blame the media, who by the way is full of LGBT executives, producers, money launders, political head with their own agenda and frankly a bunch of fetish freaks who want nothing more  than to convert your children into a bunch of sexual rats for their pleasure. They want to sterilize, hurt and confuse the young even more than they are themselves. It's time to stand up and speak up. I will not stay silent, I don't care who calls me what, homophobe, transphobe, religious nut, who cares. I am a woman of God, who by the way, has not  always been, but after years of living this corrupt LGBT lifestyle which lead me to a dead end, I learned that only through living life as we should, do we find peace and true love. I don't want to hear "you can't tell me what to do, or not everyone is like you" or "it didn't work for you", because we are all made up of the same thing, molecules, atoms, and protons, we all bleed when we get cut, and we all return to dust. What is right is right and what is wrong is wrong, I don't care what color skin you have, what size jeans you wear, or what your IQ is, we all have to follow laws, and the LGBT perversion has had way too much air play and its time for the season to end. GLAAD and its neo-nazi mentality bullying everyone that does not subscribe to their gay brand needs to shut it and realize that the world is tired of this gay perverted agenda. 

Anything that promotes drug, promiscuity, altering or hurting your body, trying to recruit or alter children for the benefit of fetishistic adults, needs to be shut down. Gender dysphoria is a massive mental and spiritual imbalance that needs to be seen for what it is. Why have compassion for people who are behaving badly, trying to change the moral fabric of this world and frankly are just dead wrong? Bodies are not meant to be changed to fulfill a sexual fetish, to score straight men, or to play  gender games.  These people are warped are in need of real help. These computer geeks, sci-fi seekers, dreamers, vanity filled puppets, with old wounds that are coming out in all the wrong way, will not dictate to the world how it should be run. It is time to put an end to this and expose it for what it is, one sick ordeal. Gender dysphoria is mental, and those who are promoting or accepting it, are just as mental as the ones who believe in it.

I challenge the media, to let other voices speak, what are you afraid of, if you feel so strongly about your motto, live and let live, why not let those of us who have lived it, and have the T-shirt, hats and cups to prove it, speak out against it, after all is that not what News really is, not just a one-sided report? 

I am not God, and I am not here to judge you, you will have your judgment day, what I am is a truth seeker and truth teller, who wants to inform the world of what is taking place. I have the right to do so, just as you feel you have the right to alter yourself, but when you are pushing this as if it's normal, and perverting the young, it's time to scream out of the top of our lungs. NO MORE......

Till Next Time

Maritza Lopez

The Pain: A Day Of Giving Thanks

Having been around, dated and lived with many transgender females in the past, it has provided me a with information that many are not privy to. Many of these so called Male to Trans are dealing with deep rooted issues that stem from lack of self worth, anger and frustration. They failed as men, fathers, husbands and in many other aspects of life. They had poor to no relationships with their fathers, some never got to meet them, and  now feel as if they cannot fulfill the role of manhood in life since they never were taught how.

The "dream" of being a woman is deep for many, its as if they wish they could run away from reality and their responsibility while "becoming" the other sex, thinking this will solve all their problems, but in reality, the problems only worsens and now they have to face the catastrophe they created and left behind.  The same pattern is seen in Female to Trans, with of coarse changing the roles and gender.

There is lots of pain in this community, pain that is not being addressed properly, instead some pseudo treatment that only creates bigger issues and enhances the problems in the end. On a day like today, there are many hurt trans identified individuals who miss being home with their families and friends, and may even be feeling regret. They are in so much pain they can't even appreciate who and what they have around them. So my question is, was it worth it? Changing your gender marker can lead to bigger problems you ever anticipated, please think it through, because not only are you hurting yourself, you are also creating a title wave of hurt with every move you make.

I want to take this time to wish everyone a peaceful, love filled Day of Thanks, remember how many died for you to sit with your family today, how many gave up their land and home.  Let us be grateful for what and who we have in our lives today, cause tomorrow, you never know what brings.

Looking Back

The way to learn from our mistakes and heal is to analyze our life and the path we have chosen. Many people might want to call it regret, I like to call it growth. Sometimes we think one way in a certain stage of our lives, and then we find our views change as we grow older and wiser. I have made tons of mistakes in my life time, too many to mention, but one thing I do know is those mistakes help shape the person I am today. So no need crying over spilled milk or regretting a thing, I will just wipe my knees and move on.

I know now that I allowed fear to lead my life in so many ways, I also allowed the lack of self love to shape my world and life. I no longer feel I was born in the wrong body, what a crazy notion that was. I can say that decision was not sane, and if I would have had the proper therapies, as many are not getting, I would have never undergone such a drastic move.  You tell a therapist what they are trained to hear, and you get a letter, hormones, and surgery, its that easy, and that is just wrong. 

Mutilation of healthy breasts

I had body dysmorphic disorder, self esteem issues, I was sexually abused from a young age, and bad experiences with men, all which leads us into a path that is, well lets say, absurd. Now I don't want to speak for every, I am learning that this disclaimer is need to prevent the mob from attacking, but I do want to say that it is important to really do soul searching and get as much help as you can before you embark on the trans disaster train. We are seeing way too many young people buying this trans agenda and ruining their lives. 

Any how, I am excited for what lies ahead, it's not going to be easy, but I know that it's what I must do to make things right with myself. I look in the mirror now, comparing the pictures of my youth when I had not messed with myself.  I can't help but feel sadness and shame. But I do hope that my journey will help others, that way I won't feel like my life has been such a waste. 

I want to take this time to thank all of my sisters out there, who are being supportive of me. I want to thank Lynna, whom I know my decision has been hard to  deal with, but this is who I am, and I can't no longer continue to live a lie. How ironic is that not what most people say, when they transition? 

Relationships and Healing

My parents divorced and I am now left to pick up the pieces and the start of a new life.  I had so many relationships, trying to find my identity and place in the world. All relationships were with females, yet, I could not be placed in a box, was I butch or was I  fem? I could not find the answer to that riddle, nor did I care to fit in any box. Fast forward many years and I found myself involved with a bisexual female whom I ended up transitioning with, and married for 10 years.  Life was good, I became a fierce advocate for what I thought at the time was the right path.

I since have changed the way I think, and have gotten to know many in the trans community. I no longer see life in the eyes of gender, I see life as a learning to tool, and gender just another tool of division for the masses.  Violet and I divorced, remaining friends, but realizing that I needed more, I continued in the quest to find love and to find myself.  I believe that many in the trans community are trying to do the same, except they get caught in the turmoil of wanting others to see them, instead of just seeing themselves. They try so hard to fit into a gender box, feeling they belong, just like a teen joins a gang to feel a sense of family and normalcy. But what is normal, why are humans so broken and their search to find happiness leads them into destruction of everything they built and loved?

If you listen to the narratives and really unfold the life of many in this community, you will find a common theme, brokenness, hurt, some sort of trauma, be it sexual abuse, religious dogma, not fitting in the gender they where born as, because of coarse they, did not make it as a "man" or a "woman", so they must be the opposite gender, right?  Because they "feel" trapped, "feel" wrong, so they need to fix it?  Well the body is not the problem, it is how they view the world, and how they "feel" they can't fit in, so escape is the only answer.

I find that until a trans person stops living in denial, and accept reality, they will continue on the vicious cycle they have started. It destroys everyone around them, and themselves. They can't ever find peace, and will continue to leave a destructive path, wherever they go.

Now, where am I in the scheme of things? Well, I no longer which to fight with my heart and head. I no longer wish to battle with anyone, I just want to be and be free, and I find that I cannot be free living a life that the Universe did not intend me to live in.  I am speaking for myself so before I get all the haters jumping down my throat as many have in the past, I want to say that this is my journey, my thoughts and my life. I no longer wish to poison my body with unnatural hormones that do not belong inside of me. I no longer wish to pull the wool over anyones eye, I just want to live and live in a place where I don't have to force the world to see what I want them to see, I just want to be me, no labels, no boxes, just me.

So anyways, the time to heal is now. It has been a long and tiring road, what lies ahead is lots of uncertainties, but I am ready for whatever comes my way. I am a woman, always have been, always will be. For those that are claiming womanhood because they "feel" they are, I can only say this to you, feelings has nothing to do with who you are, we can't just feel we hate something, so therefore I will be something else. Biology is biology which ever way you slice it. Express away is all I have to say, but make sure you are aware of who you are, and try not fall into the trap of delusion, because in the end it is you, you will hurt, and that is a hard pill to swallow when the years pass and you have to face you in that mirror.


To be continued.......

De Transitioning Diary Fom The Ex Trans Man On A Mission First Month

So, I decided to blog my de transition, and create a guide for those who are planning to stop taking T, stop identifying as a man or trans man, and try to lead a semi normal life. I have tried to find information out there but have come out with blanks. I am debating if I should go on Estrogen for a while to try to bring back some normalcy since I have no ovaries or any other form of hormone production.

It has been almost one month since I stopped taking T, and today for the first time,  I did feel a bit tired during my run, I think this is normal since sex hormones do provide the oomph that is necessary for activities, and I have no ovaries to produce my own. Well lets see how this goes.  I will be posting information videos and such to help create a diary for those who want information regarding de transitioning. If any of you want to share your experiences, please feel free to comment. Note I screen all comments now due to the haters, but will get to the comments and the legit ones will be allowed.

 Here are the changes on my first month of De Transitioning:

• Hair growth still strong on my body and face.
• Voice still deep, but a bit raspy, difficulty singing, feels like voice will crack
• Mild headaches and fatigue
• I am more aware of my emotions, T numbed me.
• Letting my hair grow on my head, disappointed bald spot, very self conscious 
• Hate shaving and no longer find it pleasurable as I did before, really hate anything that is too manly on my body or appearance. I am trying to find a balance in self, and recreating my look and identity. 

I find the path to De Transitioning is much more difficult and less support than for Transitioning. 12 years ago, when I decided to transition there was not much information out there, well it seems the same goes no for the other path. The lack of support and hatred towards the community against de transitioners is over whelming, we hope to change this with time.