A New Day

Hello everyone my name is Maritza Cummings and I am recovering gender addict. I close my eyes, and my life flashes before my very eyes. Who am I, what am I, where have I been and where am I going? I shake my head, I wipe my eyes, I look within, and here I am.

Many of you know me as the controversial once trans identified trans man, an identity that was given to me by society, the players, the haters the lovers, and my own egocentric self. Yes narcissism was a way of life for me, I created the perfect "man", a specimen to be admired, so I thought. But in reality who was I kidding? A hairy chest, back and face, coupled with muscles and a sexy raspy voice worthy of radio broadcast, but in the end, inside the deep center of it all, I am a woman, a scared little girl, who just wanted to be held and loved. 

So here I stand in front of the world, in front of me, the soul that has been through so much in this life, and I ask, what next? I have been on hormones since 2003, as well as dabbled in bodybuilding which made it easier to cross the gender border. It was easy as pie to change my physique, after all pharmaceuticals makes it easy to create whatever you want. But what did I do? I altered my life and body all in the quest to help society push us into their box, the box they feel comfortable with us being in.  

In our society, girls have to look a certain ways as do boys, and mannerisms, well lets not even mention those, careful how you walk, talk and dress. If I can accomplish anything and learn from my life events is this, I will never feed into what the system wants. I will do everything within my power to change things, even if its only me I am changing.

Look out world, for this fierce woman is back, Ritz Cummings will  rise up from the ashes, wipe her knees and stand proud and tall, as the woman I was born to be. No wrong body, no wrong theme, what needs to change is not the way society sees me, but how I see society. 

Words are changing our world, let us realize that who we are is not a pronoun or a feeling, but who we are is etched deep inside our soul. After all we are spirits having a human experience, let us not give away our power to those that are trying to make us powerless