Beachin' It

TRTV's REALTALK W/THE CUMMINGS WITH JESSICA LYNN

Lynna's Life: Day 7 Of My Fast, 1 Day At A Time

Take Control Of Your Health

Settled & Finally Home

How To Pack Up All Of Your Belongings In Under 40 Seconds

Ritz Returns The Journey

Happy Birthday To Me (Lynna)!

In The Dark

I remember when I was a small child, everything revolved around gender and stereotypes. I don't know if anyone else has these memories, but my mother made sure I knew I was a girl and focused on providing me with girl things. I was constantly told how wrong I was whenever I engaged in boy play, boy actions and or fought against girl things. I don't know why I did not gravitate towards girly things, but it was the core of my upbringing, the battle between mom and I lasted a life time and to this day, it still does. 

Even after I have detransitioned, my mom is not seeing the results that she would like to see fast enough. I can see the disapproval in her face and demeanor. I know she means well, and I am sure she meant well through out my life, but I believe her push for me to be the girl she gave birth to, actually led to wanting to be more masculine and fight my feminine essence. I find myself now being drawn to more feminine things and can't wait to be seen as a woman, have my long hair back, be able to wear more feminine attire and over all live the remaining years as a woman. 

I think society is at fault for all the confusion and judgment we all face due to our quirkiness. We should all be able to express, experiment and execute our self as we see fit without judgment or ridicule, including from our own parents.  Add religious dogma  to the mix, that plays on people emotions and fears when they do not fit the perfect little gender boxes, is enough to drive people to the opposite direction. If society was less stressed on peoples expression and accepted everyone for who they were, we would not see all the problems we are seeing today. 

I do see improvements, but we have a long way to go. People and their neurosis with what gender is or what sex is suppose to be are only creating internal battles in others which in turn affects everyone on this planet. I say take a chill pill and let people be already. Who cares if a trans person was born the opposite sex they identify as, is it any of your business? Your uterus won't fall off if a trans woman says she is a woman, don't worry they are not asking you for your ovaries to make them complete. No one is trying to take away your womanhood, there are no quotas on earth for the amount of woman allowed, so breath easy you are safe. There is enough room on this planet for trans women and women alike.

Stop playing the biology card, and start realizing there is more to life the sperm and ovum. Oh and for those who claim that I am standing by my "man", if you even knew me, you would know how much of a ball buster and strong headed individual I am. I have come to this completed 180 due to my own detransition, it has allowed me to feel compassion and have a full on understanding of a feeling of being a woman. You may not understand since you have never had to go through this whole cluster fuck of feelings and emotions, but I can tell you this, your nay saying and constant friction helps no one. You don't even know it but you are hurting women as well. There are many women who are born with lots of androgen, they too will be a victim of harassment in their own toilets. So please give it a break and get out of the darkness. Its 2016 we humans are evolving, you don't want to be seen or left to be a dinosaur.  

Life is too precious and our path very difficult to be a thorn in someone else's path. I love you but remember to love yourselves too

Ritz

PLEASE NOTE I WILL NOT  BE WRITING MY BLOG HERE ANY LONGER, I WILL BE ON MY OTHER WORDPRESS BLOG  https://maritzacummings.wordpress.com

She Is A Woman

humans and our limited ability to understand things beyond our human senses and comprehension, we tend to categorize people by that factors and characteristics we have been taught to use. We limit our world by words and concreteness which in fact only allows us to understand a very small portion of the world we live in. Our brains have not developed to their full capacity and our beliefs are still rather infantile and it shows by our behavior here on planet earth. 

One of the reasons I did a 180 on many of my views regarding trans issues, was the way my wife Lynna was being treated. First by the trans community when she started questioning things after her severe car accident, and recently by radical feminists. When Lynna was recuperating from her accident, she was doubting her self in many ways and  feared that she was not going to be able to continue her transition which led to many questions that were offensive to many in the trans community, with reasons of coarse, which then led to arguments amongst her once friends and followers. I quickly jumped in and defended her as her boyfriend at the time, and although I had lots to lose since I had a media outlet promoting the community, my only concern was Lynna and her health. We said and did many things that we are ashamed of now, and since then we have had a change of heart and  have apologized to a community we both love and respect dearly.

There seems to be an animosity from some radical feminist towards trans women, and when Lynna identified as a gender variant male, they were all in love with her and rallied behind us. But of coarse that was only because we were their darlings, saying what they wanted to hear. Now fast forward when Lynna and I have had a change of heart and wanted to start the New Year with a different tone and voice, a voice that will allow everyone to be who they are without judgment or hate. A voice of unconditional love for all. Well RF would not have it, and instead started challenging, bullying and attacking us for our new message of love.

I want to say to everyone reading this blog that I believe trans women are women, they are the most amazing women on earth. Although some are still learning their way around womanhood, they stumble, may still be in their teenage years, but don't think for one moment that the blossoming will not take place. Once they sort themselves out, own who they are, trans women will be Goddesses without a doubt. My Lynna is the most amazing Goddess around, sorry girls, but she is my queen, my life, my world and my every heart beat. Lynna is beautiful inside and out, she has changed my heart and taught me how to love, something I did not ever know how to do. So here I stand in front of the world and tell you Lynna is a woman, she is a woman because of her heart, her soul, her every essence screams female, and I feel sorry for those of you who cannot allow trans women to be the gender they say they are. Get to know and love one, and you too will quickly see the they are women. 

Lynna has actually taught me to be a women, she has brought Maritza back and now I will fight for her and her transgender sisters. There is room for us all, I am no more or no less of a woman than trans women are. They are amazingly beautiful and tender, they deserve the right to be. 

Love you all, please love yourselves too

Ritz

Growth

Everything we ever experience in life stems from the need to grow. We are unaware at the time when the roof seems to be falling on our heads, that the situation which seems horrifying is actually a blessing send from above.  Our pain is our biggest teacher and the times of laughter a time to reflect from our past pain. We are here on this beautiful blue planet to grow, get rid of baggage and over all enjoy the moments provided from our loving creator whom we are connected to in more ways than we know. 

I am not religious in fact, I despise dogma, I feel religion was created to control us and keep us contained in stagnation, fear and confusion. I want to believe that every challenge we face in life, only makes us stronger and teaches us the lessons we are here to learn, making us better people, productive and well rounded in the end. If we don't learn the lesson the first time around, it will continue to show it's ugly head. Just look back at your life, the many times ran into the same situations, no coincidence there. 

Our life and body is like a canvas, there for us to create our masterpiece of life. Don't be afraid to face your demons, for the sooner you accept things, the quicker you learn your lessons and are able to move on. Treat your life like a major Hollywood production, with you and others being actors on a stage. Don't take things to heart or wear your feelings on your sleeves. The things you encounter or the treatment from others is really not just about you, but sometimes it's a collective project for others to learn while you are engaged in their dynamics. I have so much to be thankful for, my journey's and yes I have had many, they have taught me valuable lessons that I will forever hold dear in my heart. I am a better person for it, and now capable of loving beyond measures, something I did not know how to do before. 

Forgiveness is another important player in our lives, we need to start by forgiving ourselves, then others. This is the most freeing tool we can posses as humans. Just take a look at all of the forgiving moments you have had, have you passed the test or are you still holding on to that bag? Remember we are here to grow, to love and to let go. Live in the now, love with all of your might and I hope that you will understand your purpose here on earth, don't think we just come here to live and die, while suffering along the way. There is more to life, are you willing to grow and open up the door? I hope so.

Great Interview with a fellow Detransitioner 

Love you all, but love the heck out of yourself too

Ritz

Self Reflecting Bug

In reality when people fight against a particular cause or person, they are actually fighting the demons they deal with, within themselves on a daily basis.  My transition was all about hating parts of me that was made to feel undesirable and unwanted. The upbringing and stereotypical format we as women are use to contend with, leads us to become that which we hate, and run away from that which we are. I see all these movements waving a hate flag, making everyone the enemy and in reality doing much of nothing but endless void voices without action or real cause. 

I fought my femininity for the longest time and only wanting to feel my masculine parts that constitutes a part of me. I feel so much need now to embrace the sacred feminine in me. I want my long hair, my soft hairless skin, a body that moves swiftly and gingerly through this world. I want more than anything to feel that gentle nature that I fought hard to get rid off, because I didn't want to be hurt by others in the end. That fear only leads to hurt, not only self but others. We really do not need to battle, battles are destructive and in the end hurts not only your oppressors but yourself as well. 

Take time to reflect, to feel the pain, own it, understand it, then push it away. Forgive and forget, because just the mere memory is damaging. How many women live in fear of rape because they were once raped or molested, if you hold on to that, the damage will follow you for the rest of your life? Trust me freeing yourself from that is so powerful and healing. If you hold on to it, it will continue to harm you and others around you, you will not allow true love in your heart and will bring more of the same pain into your life.

Take the time to heal, be present and notice your every thought. Are you constantly angry? Are you always thinking someone is going to hurt you or that you are entitled? Let go of those thoughts free yourself from that prison. There is no one out to get you, the world is your oyster and everyone in life there to love and help you. Create this reality and watch your world change.

Woman are not a commodity for a political movement, women are part of humanity which has another component. We need each other to make this world go round and to make life happen. Men are just as important for the survival our species and are just as much of a victim as we are. Remember you can't wash one hand without another.  

Love you all, but love yourselves too

Ritz

Happiness Is Yours

We all believe that we will be happy if  and when we obtain a certain materialistic good, achieve a certain look, or receive any of the worldly marker of success, be it a career or a relationship of choice.  But in the end as we go through life chasing our dreams to be "happy, happiness was already in you. Nothing you do or did was actually the precursor of that happiness. 

We join groups whether online or in person that have what we believe are the characteristics that we honor and believe in. But these groups are they really looking out for your best interest? Are they really what you believe in, or is it something that was placed there? It is important to grasp the knowledge of self, to understand you fully. Are you happy because you are, or because someone told you, you would be happy if you obtain these things in life? It's safe to say that many of you really are not aware of your deep needs, inner concepts of self and are just waving someone else's flag, instead of your own.

Most political platforms uses people and their emotions to promote their agendas. Be it religious dogma, a political party, or an idealistic organization promoting hate and separation. If you want to be happy, happiness will not be accomplished by following any of these paths which in the end do nothing more than create problems for the world.

If you want to be happy find your center, go out in nature, create and start a hobby. Help the less fortunate, get in the best shape of your life. Sing, dance and paint. Stop fighting the good fight, just be you and be happy. Never forget that the only way those that control the world win, is by dividing us all, if we unite we win and they lose.

Learn to love everyone and meet them where they are at, one day you might be facing the same hateful witch hunt by a group that thinks what you do  or say is wrong. Create your reality and world, and happiness will be yours for the taking.

Happiness is a mental or emotional state of well-being defined by positive or pleasant emotions ranging from contentment to intense joy. A variety of biological, psychological, religious and philosophical approaches have striven to define happiness and identify its sources. ( Or is it?)

Love you all

Ritz 

For Crying Out Load

For the past week or so, I feel like I have been invaded by the witches of Salem, no really, I have been labeled from everything like rapist apologists, women hater,  MRA and everything under the sun because I support my wife Lynna and the trans community. I was going through my own turmoil and fighting my own inner demons when I spoke against the community I fought hard and long for. But now that I have worked through all of my challenges, I can clearly see, and no longer wish to go against a community that I have loved for years.  My wife is transgender, I love her more than life itself. I owe no allegiance to anyone but her. I am sorry if people think I have made a complete 180 and feel forsaken, I cannot support your hate and lack of compassion for my wife and those like her. 

I have been getting slammed on all of my social media outlets, and have felt the heat from many who follow the radical feminist think tank. The group WOLF, who also have a page on face book called: we demand sex segregation safe women's spaces, have gone over board with screen shots and just trying to vilify Lynna and I for not agreeing with their mantra. We don't want to invade your spaces, the bathrooms are there for a purpose and that is to use them. Trans women have every right to use the bathroom that reflects their legal documentation, as you have every right to howl at the moon and run naked on your own private camps. There is room enough on this planet for everyone to co exist and live. Now grow up and learn to play in the sand box with others. In addition you don't have to date trans women if you don't want to, stop the paranoia and just lighten up already.

Lynna and I hate no one, we don't support harming women in any way, we do support equality for everyone, and the ability to allow humans to live as they feel best. If that makes us haters then by all means. But stop with the constant barrage and ridiculous allegations, and if you really wanted to do right by women, stop pushing your hate on the world.

Now to change the subject, since I am really over this whole rad fem fiasco, I wanted to say that I have noticed weight gain since stopping T, funny enough when I wanted to transition in May, the weight started to fall off real rapidly, this time the opposite is happening. My sex drive continues to drop, my over all health is good, no mood swings or fatigue, sleeping great and feeling really good. The headaches are less frequent if at all. Feeling good, loving returning to me, detransitioning was definitely the right thing for me to do. Goodbye Mark, hello Maritza, I can't wait to blossom into the great women that I know I can be. Will I be butch or will I be fem? Well, I think I will be a bit of both, no different than what I use to be back in the day.

Love you all

Ritz 

Love Is All That Matters

Finding self acceptance and understanding that the only constant in life is change may help us evolve and grow in our wisdom. There are many people in the world that are stuck in logistics believing that biology is the only true marker for sex and identity. I use to be one of those people till my detransitioning and awakening took place.  I am detransitioning not because I don't believe that sex is none negotiable, as I use to believe before, but instead because my female side is more powerful and I missed her so. I could have easily continued to live as Mark, I played him very well. But I miss Maritza's gentle smile, her strength of character which was stronger than Marks Alpha appearing nature. Maritza needed to heal and took a back seat, while Mark handled things for the 13 years of my trans experience. 

I believe transition has made me a better person, and I find that I am so much more complete now than ever before. I don't need to fight society or the system to prove who I am, I know now I am that I am. I have learn to love, something Maritza did not know how to do, not even Mark, but through my lived experience and the presence of my angel Lynna, my heart opened up and now all I can feel is love. Unconditional divine love. I  can now feel, when before I was closed and unexpressive. Lynna freed me, showed me how to love in ways I didn't think where possible.

I will fight for her and for all my trans brothers and sisters, dare anyone talk bad or not validate their truth, for I will speak up, I will prove how wrong the nay sayers are. They are simply scared and their fears are creating the divide. Biology is not as concrete as we may think it is, humans have not even began to scratch the surface of the brain, the heart and the soul. 

I still believe people need to be mindful that transition is what they truly want and need. There are lots of complications and concerns to be had. But please be free to be, be love, be present and most of all be kind. For in the end with all the material things we gather and all of the hatred we harbor, the only thing in life that really matters is love.

Love you all

Ritz

Please Explain

Ever since Lynna and I have decided to no longer be anti trans  and actually bring a positive light while maintaining a healthy education platform, we have then felt the wrath from the Radical Feminism cult. I have been told that Rad Fems are not about hate, separation and war against men, so please help me understand these quotes:

"All sex, even consensual sex between a married couple, is an act of violence perpetrated against a woman."
-- Catharine MacKinnon, Marxist, professor of law at the University of Michigan

"All men are rapists and that's all they are"
-- Marilyn French,The Women's Room (Percent of reported rape or near-rape incidents = .07% [FBI Uniform Crime Report list for 1996])

"Marriage as an institution developed from rape as a practice."
-- Andrea Dworkin, feminist author, lesbian activist, former prostitute

"Heterosexual intercourse is the pure, formalized expression of contempt for women's bodies."
-- Andrea Dworkin

"Under patriarchy, every woman's son is her potential betrayer and also the inevitable rapist or exploiter of another woman,"
-- Andrea Dworkin, Liberty, p.58

"Sex and murder are fused in the male consciousness, so that the one without the imminent possibility of the other is unthinkable and impossible."
-- Andrea Dworkin, Letters from a War Zone

"When a woman reaches orgasm with a man she is only collaborating with the patriarchal system, eroticizing her own oppression..."
-- Sheila Jeffreys, lesbian activist, professor of political science at the University of Melbourne, Australia

"It is not only men convicted of rape who believe that the only thing they did that was different from what men do all the time is get caught."
-- Catharine A. MacKinnon, Toward a Feminist Theory of the State, 1989, First Harvard University Press (a legal treatise comparing feminism with socialism and communism)

Here is the link so you can read the rest: http://www.sosuave.net/forum/index.php?threads%2Fcrazy-feminist-quotes.209166%2F

I personally am appalled by these words, and frankly ashamed. Thankfully I know that my being a woman is not tied to feminism in any way, in fact I want nothing to do with it.  I love men, I love women, I love trans individuals, gays and lesbians. I believe that ideology is destructive in all of its forms and needs to be eradicated like the cancer that it is. Men and women both have faults and virtues, no sex is better or more worthy than the other. They both need to learn to co exist and deal with age long hurt that has been passed from generation to generation. So please help me explain what does all this fighting solve?

I want to appeal to your human nature, those of you who are anti trans, who feel that biology is all that matters, think about this for one moment: genitals in a fetus is undifferentiated, meaning we have the possibility of being either or depending on the hormonal bathing.

There are various combinations and events that can go wrong during development, also let us not forget the spirit and personality of this child and person, that is more than just a penis or a vagina, a womb or sac. People are more than their chromosomes and DNA, they are humans with feelings, needs and intrinsic behaviors and personalities.

Why should we deny them their reality and happiness? Why must you build your political campaign around someone else's life and needs. Rise up from your judgment and personal opinion and try to be tolerant and accept that not everything in life is black or white, there are many shades of grey.

Let Go

I am a true believer that diseases stem from inner turmoil created by our outer realities. Some people are as strict about their beliefs as a stiff rod, they in no way know how to sway like a palm tree. But like a palm tree that survives the brutal storm, the stiff rod will get pulled out of its roots and will loose their center and life source.  

Humans have been taught to follow dogma, read books and cling on to theories that in reality do not hold much water, books are written by humans, who we know can't be trusted with factual information, especially when an exchange of goods is the bottom line. We must live life with an open heart, realizing that the only constant in life is change, and change is the only constant. We can believe one thing one minute and another the next. No harm no foul, it's human nature. 

It's easy to grasp on to a cause that fits our hurt and lives situation, we see it all the time. Young men and women joining the military to fight for their country, and what are they really fighting for. Religious extremist, preaching the gospel and letting everyone know that the end is here, an end that seems to never get there, only in the minds of those that behave like the stiff rod. Women's and Men's activism is no different, they cling to beliefs, create scenarios to wage war and in the end, the cycle continues without an end or resolution in sight. Driven by dogma, individuals who have suffered and feel hurt, in turn this hurt makes them want to hurt others, sometime without realizing what they are doing. I am not trying to point fingers here or pit one group against another, although I have been accused of this, I just want people to realize that this endless cycle of hate needs to stop. Please let it go, come from a place of love, compassion, forgiveness and unity. We are all suffering here, every human has to deal with diseases, financial problems, growing old, a deteriorating planet and over all the battles we create in our heads.

Women are important yes, I get that. I am a woman too. But having lived in both genders has given me an insight that allows me to tear down all the wall we create and have compassion for both genders.  I can see that all we want is to feel safe, loved and seen. But in order for us to have all of that, we need to fortify this to ourselves and others. It takes work to heal, but you can't expect to heal if you are harboring ill feelings towards others. Just my two cents and humble opinion, you can fight me all you want and feel betrayed, but I am not betraying you, on the contrary, I am trying to bring a different outlook to the cause.

Forgiveness is an amazing tool, love you all but remember to love yourself too.

Ritz

RADICAL DESTROYS

My wife wrote on her Face Book wall  a few days ago (and since we have been the target for many rad fems) the meaning of radical and how anything extremes is destructing and divisive. When we bring up the curtains and remove the veil, we actually get to see the truth behind the intent. Let it be known that any movement that may have been started with organic and purest of intent, ends up being perverted by politics and its original meaning lost and ruined. 

Angry people stand behind these movement pushing their own angry filled agenda and hate. Lets take a look at Jesus, he came to show us the way, and told us "we too can do great things than him and that the kingdom of eternity and love is within us, not outside of us". It's not based on what you tithe or how many times you go to church, or if you judge others, (so you don't get to see your own faults). So Christianity, although claimed to be started by or for  Jesus, was actually a tool of politic devise, it is used to push hateful agenda's and to promote a separatist mentality. I know there are good hearted Christians, but the gist of the religion is based on blood shed and control, the follower are taught not to think and have blind faith, they judge others, and feel they are better than everyone else, at least this is what Lynna and I have encountered and I am sure others have too. But we don't hate Christians or wish for them to have separate bathrooms and an island of their own. 

Same thing goes for this Rad Fem movement, started with good intent but instead is now based on venom and hatred against men. I will say, men are responsible for lots of bad things, but women went right along with it, so why put all the blame on one species and see the other as a saint? Women have power, in fact women dominated in years past, just do some research on matriarchal systems in ancient history.  Women are entitled to their privacy from men, but what they don't get is that trans women see themselves as women, they gave up the male card and the same hormones run through their veins as any genetic female. Their hearts feel just the same, so why push them away, to promote the hateful agenda that most Rad fems push?

I stand for women, I stand for men, I stand for trans folks, I stand for everyone in the LGBT community, I mostly stand for love and acceptance for all. Stop pushing your hateful agenda's and for those that say its not hate, they are only protecting women, no you are not, and yes you have hate, deal with truth and find out what makes you feel this hate and please get help. Man hating is not normal, in fact any kind of hating is pathological. 

Two wrongs don't make a right and forgiveness may just save you in the end. Carrying anger and allowing our traumas to dictate our lives only creates further problems and divide. My own anger almost destroyed me, coming from a place of love and understanding feels way better, believe me.

I love you but remember to love yourselves too

Ritz

I See You

Playing with hair pieces and look

Soul searching is one of the most painful self discovery a person can undertake. No amount of therapy in my opinion can fortify you with the deepest discovery of finding you. We go through life building walls, hiding who we truly are in order to protect ourselves, not realizing the damage we are actually creating with in our psyche and mind. 

As a child we learn real quick how to hide our inner truth in the quest of belonging to a group and be seen. We engage in behavior that may not feel comfortable, surround  ourselves with people, habits and careers that may not be at all in alignment with our true intent. So we grow up resentful, angry, fearful and over all unhappy. 

It is important to stay real to our soul purpose, to understand what we are all about, not what others want us to be like. I have learn the hard way, and my path has been painful. I have done things to please others, and to feel like I belong. Creating an image that slowly became angry and full of ego. I can tell you now that feeling was not good, I lived a lie, in order to feel accepted and looked up to. But instead I ended up hurting many people, and I will forever regret my actions, words and disrespect to a community that did not deserve my belittling actions and words. 

We each have a journey to take, maybe mine had a purpose, albeit, I wish I would have been kinder, but I believe now by returning to my truth, I can help heal and mend the damage I created. In addition, help others question their truth and over all create a space where people can talk freely without ego and defensiveness. People are hurting, there are so many reasons for this, but we need to realize that no one pain is more important than another. We all matter. I want to say to all in the LGBT community, to our allies and to those who do not agree with who we are, or  who we try to be, find a space in your heart that allows you to come from a compassionate source, don't point fingers or create a judgment. Instead, reach deep and try to feel the pain of others by simply remembering the pain you have experienced in your life before. Pain is pain, let us learn to see each other through the eyes of love. To all, I want to say that I see me now, and  I can now see you.

I love you but remember to love yourselves too

Ritz

Ritz Returns Detransitioning Vlog #12